Thursday, September 22, 2011

8 Weeks of Constantcon!

This is the post I'll be putting up every Wednesday (only this week it was Thursday, 'cause I was busy playing Cthulhu) for the foreseeable future about Constantcon--our neverending program of RPGs played via Google +'s free multiperson videochat feature ("hangouts").

The point of this post is:

1) you can sign up to GM a game via Google + video chat in the comments,

2) you can join one of those games in the comments, and...

3) hopefully every question you might have about Constantcon is answered on here somewhere.

The weekly post will also contain all the collected wisdom on running G+ games we have accumulated thus far. New tips/discoveries for any given week will be below in red.

Everything else in this post is old news if you read this blog every day, I just consolidated it into one post.


The current calendar of Google + games is on the right of this blog page just under my bloglist where it says "upcoming games on Google +". If you can't see it, reload the page--if you still can't go here and hit "agenda". Calendar times are in Eastern Standard Time because that's where I am today and I'm the guy who's taking the trouble to keep the calendar up.

You can subscribe to the thread and the comments if you wanna keep up as new games are added.
_______________________
FORMAT FOR POSTING AN ANNOUNCEMENT OF YOUR GAME BELOW IN THE COMMENTS:
Day

Time describe the time you're available using at least one western hemisphere and one eastern hemisphere time zone so peeps can figure out whether they're around.

System(s)

Level

Do we need to bring anything? (Like, say, a 3rd level character) and anything else you think might make your pitch intriguing--setting, etc.)(if your ruleset is unusual, it may be best to tell everybody to just show up with stats, a race and a class and smooth out the specifics once the game starts rolling.)


Contact info:
Please include a way people can contact you other than Google + so that you can tell who they are when they request you and you can discuss details if they're not already one of your G+ contacts. If your name is like "Jack Wilson" realize there's 200 of you on Google plus and you'll need to supply some alternate information if G+ users are looking for you. (Like: I'm the Zak Smith with the black and white picture and the asymmetrical haircut). _________________

Example:

Skooky McDungeonface will be DMing a Red Box game in Greyhawk at 1pm Italian time/4 am Pacific Standard time next Tuesday. Bring a 4th level PC and she can be reached under the name Skooky dawt McDee at yahoo dawt calm.

__________

How it works/getting started:

So step one is get a Google + invite from a friend.

Step Two: Once you get that you show up on the site and go "looks like facebook" then you leave.

Step Three: Forget you have it until you decide it's time to play GURPS Supers at 3 in the morning with someone in Madagascar who must be a good DM because he likes Motorhead as much as you do, at least judging from his comments on your blog...

Now what:


So once you have Google + you can get to your page by clicking like so...





...which takes you to a very Facebook-looking page.

Here are the important bits about this page:


-there's a green button on the right that says "start a hangout" which you can use to start a video session (only if you're not already in one on Google +)(though you can use Google + and Skype simultaneously--the people will be able to hear each other).

-If one of your friends has started a video session, there will be a green button allowing you to join in under their name, where this Larry Page guy has his message written in the picture. Click it and you're in.

This is what a video session looks like (only perhaps the people in your session may look a little less...festive...than the models in this Google PR photo I found on-line.) Anyway, important bits to remember are in red:

A-Hitting this button will make a little text chat window appear in the margin which allows you to type shit to the other people there. It's good for keeping track of dimensions of rooms, PCs names, etc. Also, if it's hard to hear someone talk you can type something in. Usually the audio's pretty good, though.

B-Hit this to invite new peeps to the session. You can do it by name or by "circle" (Google + name for a ton of people you've put in the same category)

C-This button theoretically lets you all watch the same youtube video but it doesn't seem to work yet.

D-The program senses whoever's talking and makes their head big. (Beardy is talking here, apparently). However, if, for example, the GM is holding up a map to the screen and you want the big camera to stay on one person, just click on their little head. To switch it back, click the little head again.

Glitches:

-Some people get asked to download a plugin when they first start a Google + vid chat and can't join until they've done it. After you download it, you should be cool.

-The thing freezes occasionally. If this happens, just use the text chat thing in the corner for a few seconds while it unfreezes. Sometimes people get kicked out by the machine. Don't worry, they'll rejoin seconds later.
_______________________

Tips:

-There's a new DeeeLuxxxxe version of the G+ hangout where you can apparently do whiteboard stuff and upload pictures right on there so everybody in the hangout can see it. To activate it, hit the option as soon as you initiate the hangout. I have not tried this at all so it's up to people to test it this week. Let us know how it goes! Note that this extra special hangout option is optional.

-There's an all-Tekumel G+ gaming hub here now. (You can still post about Tekumel games below here, too, though.) (And, since many people choose games based on when they're available rather than by which game it is, I recommend not going too nuts with the "hub for each separate game" thing.)

-If you use the whiteboard at www.twiddla.com know now that you can roll dice on it. Just keep the little window that opens on the far right open when you start playing and type "d6" and hit enter and it'll roll a die. You can write like "d17" or whatever, too.

-Another twiddla tip: "control z" undoes the last thing you did, I believe.

-If Google + keeps kicking you out and there are 5 or fewer windows open, try shutting down your video so that you're audio-only. That might lower your bandwidth enough to keep you on.

-Alternative to G+: Skype offers a free 7-day trial of multiperson video chat--if your group has 4 players and a dm (5 skype accounts), that's over a month you can use multiperson video for free via Skype. (More if you can use a friend's Skype account, too). And of course, you can always pay for Skype.

-Some GMs have begun a practice of overbooking by one player (an alternate) since usually one person usually has to cancel by game time.

-5 people was but no longer is the vague maximum. G+ says it can handle ten but whatever, that's all lies. At one point, any more than 5 and it would go all screwy. Larger games do work but 10 is stretching it. If someone gets kicked off, use the "invite" function to get them back--it'll make it way easier for them to re-navigate to where you are.

-It's possible some GMs may find individual initiative works better than group inititative on G+: With group initiative you have to decide who'll roll, they roll, then tell everyone what they rolled. People tend to talk over each other so it can be a little clumsy. However, with individual initiative, each player and the DM can roll, then immediately type the number they just rolled into the chat window (so it'll say "Zak: 2, Mandy: 6, Skooky: 4") and the DM and everybody can just go in that order and you can all see it right there on your screen. Cuts down on crosstalk and is easy. You might wanna try it.

-Don't point your speakers toward your mike. (You know about feedback, right metalheads?)


-If your audio's screwy, use headphones.

-If there's an audio problem, the person who sounds most normal on the audio is probably the one whose computer's creating the problem.

-Close as many windows as you can.

-Some people's computers or connections just hate G+ right now and their computer will lag or be gimpy and make the whole session screwy. If this is you, you probably won't be able to play today but don't be discouraged--speed of service ebbs and flows. If you're screwed today you might not be tomorrow. Also, G+ itself may figure out how to handle the volume of online heads in the future.

-If your computer is one of the unreliable ones, try switching from a wireless to a wireful (cable, DSL, etc.) internet connection if you've got one.

-PLEASE BE AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE WHEN ANNOUNCING A GAME: Please don't go: "Hey, if I run Palladium Fantasy, does anybody want in?" Go: "I will be running Palladium Fantasy RPG from 3-6 PM Eastern 8pm London time I can be reached at ConsiderateAndEfficient at yahoo dawt calm and if you want to play but that time is no good, tell me when is good and maybe we can work something out"

-Possible communications protocol: if everybody's talking at once and you need to say something, you can cover your camera with your hand so it goes all black so the GM knows you wanna say something.

-Consider consolidating all your recruiting responses in one place. i.e. you can advertise your game here and on your blog and on G+ and on twitter and whatever else, but it might make your life a little easier if you ask people responding to those advertisements to do it all in one place. It's easier to schedule if you're not talking in nine different places on the internet at once.

Of course, people will ignore you if you ask them to please respond in a certain place, so you might wanna close comments in any venue where you don't want to get responses.


-The video's a little fuzzy, if you want to show players a diagram or something, maybe use sharpie. Mappers may wanna do the same.

-Jeff's good idea: Once you have players for a game all ready to roll, create a new "circle" containing only the players in that game. Start a thread and have them post their character basics in that thread.

-However and ironically: once you have a group ready to roll and you know who is in, if you have something important to say (i.e. "tomorrow's game will be shirts vs. skins, please roll d4 now to see which side you're on" or "Sorry, gotta cancel") you may be better off using email than G+ to say it. This is because on G+, like facebook, important messages you send to people can get buried in their feed underneath dozens of other people posting about their cat.

-Remember: just because you're in a given time zone, not all your players have to be. People keep weird hours.

-Alexander Osias points out you can use this to schedule time zones. You may think "oh, I'll just use a time zone map" because maps are friendly and fun. But beware: daylight savings time makes things all weird. Use something with a brain.


-If you have a blog and are running a game that isn't full yet (or would like to start up a weekly game), I suggest putting a little widget in the corner of your blog (if you have one) describing the game and saying all the details you put in the thread below.

-2 hours seems like a good time. Though allow some lead time for character generation if it's a system with meat on it. If you can get players to make characters before they roll, do that.

FAQ

-Who rolls the dice in a videoconference game?

It's up to the GM. The GM can roll all dice, you can use the dice robot app on the Dragonsfoot forums (you have to register) (I'm sure someone who isn't me can explain it), or you can just all roll your own dice and trust each other because we're grown-ups here.

If you use the whiteboard at www.twiddla.com know now that you can roll dice on it. Just keep the little window that opens on the far right open when you start playing and type "d6" and hit enter and it'll roll a die. You can write like "d17" or whatever, too.

At this point it seems like most players and GMs would rather roll their own dice, though.


-What's the deal on moving PCs from one game to another?

We have an official agreement on that called The FLAILSNAILS Conventions. Check it.

-Is there some ap that allows me to draw maps everyone in a game can see?

You can use this. More info here...

Though it may be slow on some connections if you do it simultaneously with the hangout.

-I don't see any games I want to play yet on the calendar but I know they're going on...

A lot of GMs already have gotten continuing groups together over the last few weeks so there may be fewer "advertised" games than there were. Don't worry, people are always doing games, so just join Google +, add people to your "circles" and check them regularly--they will probably announce something soon.

-I keep getting kicked off the hangout!

Close all your windows and if it still happens, mute your video so you're audio-only. I have a crappy connection where I am now and the same thing was happening to me until I did that.

-I can't see the calendar that's supposed to be on the right!

If you can't see it, reload the page--if you still can't, go here and hit "agenda".

-Are Google + games fun? Are people liking them?

Yes. People have been playing on G+ for two weeks and the responses have all fit into one of 2 categories:

A) "That was awesome, when can we do it again" and

B) "I had technical problems so I couldn't play."

So, basically, if you can get your computer to do it right, it's fun and you'll probably like it. Some computers just take to G+ some don't. I don't know much about computers but have had no technical problems so far.

G+ seems to be an especially good place to playtest new game ideas.

-Whatever, buddy, I can't trust you--what does Jeff Rients think?


That.


-Why not use Skype instead?


Multiperson videochat on Skype is not, as of this moment, free. On G+ it is. But hey, you wanna list a Skype game here, no problem. If you want to list an all-voice game on any platform, that's cool, too.

-How many G+ games have
you, guy writing this post, played?

Nineteen before I lost count... Two were with all real-life friends. The GMs and systems were: Me 4 times(3.5/AD&D mashup), Tavis (Adventurer Conqueror King ), DarrenE (AD&D), Welcome To Dungeon (AD&D), Jeff Rients (Labyrinth Lord/Basic/Expert), 3 with Arcadayn (Swords & Wizardry), Il Male (Labyrinth Lord), Empire of the Petal Throne twice with Ckutalik, Ulek Xek (S&W), Ben A (Gamma World), Dungeon Crawl Classics with Arcadayn, AD&D with Allandaros, and Neoclassical Geek Revival with Zzarchov. Way more since then, actually....

-Any noticeable difference between systems?

None at all. Systems all feel extremely similar so far. After playing we go "Wait, was that Labyrinth Lord we were playing?" Who is GMing seems much more relevant.

Played 7th Ed Gamma World which has 4e style tactical movement but GM Bennet Akkerman managed it fairly smoothly.
"How many squares away is the giant eyeball?"
"5."
Not that complicated, so long as the DM sets up the game so it can work.

Other than my mash-up and AD&D I'd technically never played any of those games before.

-I see an interesting-looking game on the calendar--how do I join it?

I have tried--when it seemed appropriate and privacy-respectiful--to put the GM's G+ name on there so you can contact the GM on G+. If that doesn't work, check the comments on this thread or the thread for the previous Wednesday for the GMs announcement--it should have his/her contact info.

-Why Google +, why not ______(some other platform besides Google+ or Skype)____?

It just happens to be what I know about and it's free--if you want to run a game on some other platform please go ahead and post it.

-Why should I announce when I'm running a game
here? Why not just announce it on G+?

Because, even assuming everyone who might want to play in your game is already in your circles, G+ still isn't perfect: on your feed, if one person in your "Online RPG pals" circle announces "Hey I'm starting a game in 2 hours" and then 12 people announce "Hey, here's something WOTC did today that pissed me off and/or a picture of my cat", then your game will get buried in peoples' feeds.

Even if every gamer in the world eventually gets on G+ and adds you, until G+ finds a way to tag posts (and everyone agrees to use that system) and/or people stop wanting to tell other gamers that they have a cat there will have to be an outside sorting mechanism for games starting up. This is the mechanism.

-Is there some certain game system I should run?


Run whatever you want. Please run whatever you want. Sooner or later someone's gonna try it, you might as well be a pioneer. GURPS, OD&D, FASERIP, FUDGE, Mechanoids, Kill Puppies For Satan--whatever makes you happy.

Tips: 1) Be prepared to explain the mechanics as you go along, many people will be new no matter what system you use--this isn't that hard. 2) If you like to keep your life simple, start with a rules-lite system. 3) The only hard part is character generation--if it's D&D-related you can just tell people to give you race, class and 6 stats before the video session starts and smooth out translation issues then. I do this all the time, it's easy.

-Isn't playing with people you don't know weird?


Yes. That's why it's fun. If the game sucks you can always say you hear your mom calling and have to leave.

-How long is Constantcon going on?

Forever.

-Can I start a campaign?

Yes. You can do whatever you want. Stop asking.

-I want to do a game where______ is that ok?

Yes. Everything is ok. It's your con, too.

-Would anybody out there maybe possibly be interested if I ran a game of_____?


Yes to whatever you were about to say. Pick a time and post it. If nobody else is interested, I am. I'll play anything once.

-I see all the guideline
s here about how to announce that I want to GM a game, is it ok if I just, like, totally ignore some of those guidelines?

Sure, just prepare for the possibility of people not signing up for your game and don't complain that I didn't warn you and that this G+ game thing is totally bogus and nobody loves you.

-Hey, I'm up to GM anything whenever, can I just announce that and wait for the game to assemble around me?


Well you can, but it will make scheduling really hard and take forever and require a million emails back and forth and re-announcements once you have a time and de-announcements to say you are no longer available "whenever" because you have games scheduled now and...

So if you actually want to roll you may be better off actually saying a day and a time if nothing else.

R
emember: The more specific you are about when you are running your game, the faster shit will get itself organized. If you're worried people won't be able to make that specific time, just say like "3-5pm(flexible)"and if anybody wants to change it they'll hit you up.

-Can I just say I'm available to GM any time?

No, because you're lying, because you sleep, and maybe work or go to school. If your free spirit just cannot be contained to one hour, at least put a range of hours you are available (in two different time zones, as usual). If you say "I am available whenever" then you are begging several questions--do the community a favor and answer them up front so as not to generate more noise (as opposed to signal) than you need to. Anyone answering your thread is immediately going to ask what hours you're awake
--please realize that ahead of time and deal with it.

-Help, I'm having technical issues with G+!

Post here. Or, if you can, on G+. People will probably help you out. If I don't comment it's 'cause I don't know.

-How's the video quality?

It ain't Stanley Kubrick--but do you need Stanley Kubrick? It'll freeze for a second here and there, but relax, you'll live. Audio's pretty good unless there's an actual connection problem. I can go in the kitchen and make pasta and still hear what's going on in the game.

-Why do I have to send you an email saying who I am on G+, why not just add you?


"I always thought it must be quite handy being called John."

"Why?"

"You can tell when you're going nuts."

"Sorry? I don't follow.”

"I mean, a real sign of megalomania, when a John starts thinking that
'John' will do. 'Hi. It's John.' Or: 'Yours ever, John.' So what? Everybody's called John."
-
Martin Amis "The Information"

Plus if your screen name is DisplacerBeast28 and your G+ name is Fred Walsh I am not going to make the connection. And if I don't then I won't know who you are or why you started following me (art fan? porn fan? somebody's ex-boyfriend? Spambot?) and I will not add you to my "Online RPG People" circle.

A lot of people who follow me on social media are anonymous citizens who don't want to be followed back or play RPGs.
So if you want in, please send an e-mail to zakzsmith at hawt mayle dawt calm and type your actual Google + name into the text of the email using the letters of the alphabet if you want to be added. "Hi, RPG, Fred Walsh I am holding a sprite in my picture G+" is enough. "Hi, add me on G+" isn't.

-I'm shy.


Wear a mexican wrestler mask.

-Won't this Constantcon thread get hopelessly long and confusing eventually?

Nope. Once a week I am going to close comments on these Wednesday threads and post new ones where people can post games they're running that week.

-Wouldn't it be cool if James Raggi, James Smith, and James Maliszewski
all agreed to GM games in one week and called it JamesCon?

Yes.

-Do I need a webcam?

No, you could just use a mike and go audio-only. Do be aware that webcams are like 10 bucks though.

-The hangout window keeps shuffling from head to head and it's annoying.

G+ senses who is talking loudest and makes their head big. To tell it to chill just click on one person's little head below and their head will stay big.

-I need a G+ invite!

Complain here. Motherfuckers will hook you up.

-I like you, Zak, but I don't want all your weird readers hitting me up for my game. What do I do?

Then post your GM schedule game on your blog. And tell me you did so I can decide if I want in.


-I am grumpy/antisocial/a luddite/just really busy. Will you ever shut up about G+ games?


I am going to try to only talk about them once a week.

-When are you playing, Zak?

I get up whenever and am generally awake until 4am pacific time/noon London time. My schedule is totally unpredictable, especially on the weekends, but since I paint and play simultaneously I might roll whenever.

-Are the girls playing?

Yeah. Though their schedules are even weirder than mine. But, like, Connie, Mandy and Caroline Pierce have all played G+ games.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Slightly More Useful Random Rooms

So as some of you may know, -C put together this sweet pdf called "DM2: Tricks, Empty Rooms, & Basic Trap Design (30 Pages)" which is a nice thing to have when you want all the options right there. (Download it by going to -C's page and clicking on it in the right margin there.)

Now my nitpick is that some of the tables in there require way more rolling than they should to parse through the number of results they're providing. The Random Room table (and I don't know if -C wrote this or picked it up from a source in the bibliography) requires rolling twice on 2 types of dice--but there's only about a hundred results (with a few redundancies, like "seraglio" AND "Harem" ot "tomb" AND "crypt").

Anyway, I reformatted it as a simple d100 to match the way I'm likely to use a table like this:

1 Aviary
2 Bestiary
3 Cage
4 Cell
5 Work Pit / Workshop
6 Kennel
7 Oubliette
8 Padded Room
9 Pen
10 Prison
11 Stockade
12 Assemblage
13 Antechamber
14 Amphitheater
15 Audience Hall
16 Courtroom
17 Great Hall
18 Throne Room
19 Zoo
20 Statuary
21Torture Chamber
22 Trophy Room
23 Seraglio
24 Arena
25 Banquet
26 Combat pit
26 Pool / Water Room
27 Den
28 Game Room
29 Office
30 Gallery
31 Meeting Chamber
32 Mine
33 Museum
34 Music Room
36 Pool
37 Sauna
38 Stable
39 Bathroom
40 Garage
41 Treasury
42Bedroom
43Cistern Room
44 Tannery
45Closet
46 Dining Room
47 Dressing Room
48 Foyer (Entry Room)
49 Hall
50 Lair
51 Larder / Pantry
52 Lounge
53 Map Room
54 Privy
55 Planning Room
56 Reception Chamber
57 Salon
58 Servants Dorm
59 Storage
60 Waiting Room
61 Wardrobe
62 Well Room
63 Vault
64 Vestibule
65 Armory
66 Arsenal
67 Barracks
68 Guardroom
69 Gymnasium
70 Interrogation Room
71 Mess Hall
72 Training Room
73 Chantry
74 Chapel
75 Crypt, Human
76 Crypt, Animal
77 Confessional
78 Crematorium
79 Embalming Chamber
80 Meditation Chamber
81 Monk Cell Mass
82 Grave Robing Room
83 Shrine
84 Scriptorium
85 Temple
86 Forge
87 Vestiary
88 Smokehouse
89 Classroom
90 Conjuring Room
91 Divination Chamber
92 Inscription Chamber
93 Laboratory
94 Library
95 Morgue
96 Observatory
97 Study
98 Solar
99 Summoning Room
100 Kitchen

I also made this thingy, which is the same table again paired with the "items found at the bottom of pits" table, repurposed as a "things found in random rooms" table and put in the Vornheim split-column format--you can roll once to have a random room all ready to go with a random item in it, or roll d100 twice to generate a unique pairing:
(if your browser makes it hard to read due to bloggers new and worse picture protocols, hold down right-click on the mouse and you should get some options to view it as its own thing and then you can blow the picture up. And if you just save the picture it'll save a picture big enough to read, even if it looks small on yr screen.)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Now This Is A Random Adventure Generator

There has been much discussion this week about random adventure-name generators.

Well I hate to say it, but you've been totally scooped.

Not only does this site generate the (completely awesome) name of your module, it generates the name of the Big Bad and the names of all the chapters.




If you don't want to enter the Temple of the Blind Ghoul to steal the Collar of the Poisoner from the Wizard of Failure you don't deserve to own dice.

Also-rans from other sites...
Assassinated By Vampire In The Bloodbath
Song from the Hideous Dimension of the Rancid Steel Witch
Song from the Frozen Planet of the Demonic Zombie Clone

Notes While Reading/Watching Various Things

Keep On The Borderlands:

Cover:
Third person view meant either to put you in the position of one of the adventurers or show you their butts. Monster stands on egg, shot with arrow. Apparently simultaneously with some guy in red Bowie pants shooting someone off the canvas to the left. Blue nosed baboon in armor fighting my mom's ex-boyfriend. Pretty purple tree by Bob Ross in foreground. None of its roots are in the ground. What the fuck?

If I knew nothing else about this module, I would never ever buy it. "Keep" is not as exciting as "Evil maze" and "Borderlands" is not as exciting as, well, any other word, pretty much, except "Shadowfell" which word it is way more exciting than and which word WOTC replaced it with when they redid this module because "Shadowfell", like 80% of all post TSR D&D neologisms sounds like a band that some girl you went out with dated the keyboard player of before she decided the fit-of-alcoholic-rage-to-orgasms-provided ratio was too high to justify keeping it up. Also all the people on the cover look like they're made of Gummi.

Let us, however, not judge books by covers. Even if it does say "It has been specifically designed for use by beginning Dungeon Masters so that they may begin play with a minimum of preparations" concerning which claim: Really? Really?

Now there's a map. It looks like a big blue dungeon map with a plesiosaur swimming up under it.

Now a picture of some guys who don't seem to be taking their job very seriously fighting an owlbear. That's...that's fine. I guess. Sure. Let's not bait the owlbear fans just yet. Journalistic integrity does force me to point out that his thing looks more like a fat ostrich in a gorilla suit with a tail.

The guy on the left is like "Hey I'm a halfling but this owlbear doesn't see my glaive-guisarme and I'm as tall or taller than all these humans. Fuck yeah." That's what his smile says to me.

Publishing information, typos...

Introduction...
" You are about to begin a journey into worlds where...adventure and heroism are the meat and drink of all who would seek their fortunes in uncommon pursuits."

Wow that's some special gibberish. And only two sentences in.

The old clustery TSR typesetting has a oozing quality I expect some enterprising graphic designer to build an ap to ape any day now. Every OSR blogger will use it. Unless their name is "Clint", because then if they wrote it in all caps it would look like it said...something else.

Certainly there are stout fighters, mighty magic-users, wily thieves, and courageous clerics who will make their mark in the magical lands of D&D@ adventure. You, however, are above even the greatest of these, for as DM you are to become the Shaper of the Cosmos. It is you who will give form and content to all the universe. You will breathe life into the stillness, giving meaning and purpose to all the actions which are to follow

DON'T GIVE ADVICE TO CHILDREN WHILE INHALING BAD DRUGS.

Page 5, picture: Elric turning man in bellbottoms and birkenstocks upside down while hydrocephalic child and homosexual wearing a codpiece and a wingy-helmet backwards watch. Inexplicable.

Background:
Yet again, Gary purposely opens a section with a total linguistic fuckwreck
"The Realm of mankind is narrow and constricted. Always the forces of Chaos press upon its borders, seeking to enslave its populace, rape its riches, and steal its treasures."

If they're metaphorically "raping" the riches then why...forget it, this can't end anywhere good.

And, this is, technically, meant to be read aloud to players. On their first adventure. So yeah, rape already. No wonder the Jesus Moms threw a fit.

Me myself personally I would be throwing a fit because holy hell five paragraphs of read-aloud text. "Farms and towns have become less frequent and travelers few. The road has climbed higher as you..." This intro would be two pages 12-point double-spaced and it's longer than every single entry in this blog.

It's funny how they always capitalize KEEP ("information from inhabitants of the KEEP might be gained by player characters.") Try talking like that.

There is a table of rumors. The interesting ones--there's a wizard, there's a princess, there's awesome treasure, bugbears fear dwarves, and a translation of a goblin phrase--aren't true. All the ones that say "standard D&D monster x is in y part of the caves" are true.

Now some Gygaxian descripto-blocks. There are always 5-8 (d4 + 4) lackeys inside tending to horses and gear. Each is unarmored (AC 9) but can fight with various available weapons (pitch forks and thezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz While painfully inefficient, these can maybe be excused by the need to lay things out in a beginners module "see, nothing in this tower is surprising or hard to invent or very creative, a 12 year old could do this--you're 12, go make your own!" and they're practically haiku compared to the let's-pad-swatting-a-fly-into-a-12-page-mini-sandbox lunacy you got later.

On page 9, you get the first awesome thing in the KEEP. The priest...he's a jovial talkative 18 hp fuck laden with magic items with two creepy silent assistants "He is outspoken in his hatred of evil, and if approached by a party of adventurers seeking the Caves of Chaos, he will certainly accompany them. " And then betray them.

Thus teaching the PCs several valuable lessons about bringing along henchmen whose stats are listed in the book, religious people who are "outspoken in their hatred of evil" and trusting the thief when he suggests backstabbing anyone with magic items as soon as they have the chance. Gary doesn't say the priest in his "well-appointed and comfortably furnished" chambers with his "cozy fire" and his "robust" young acolytes is likewise outspoken in his hatred of gay buttsex but I think we can consider it implied. Dude, it's ok, I can ask, you can tell, times have changed, step into the goddamn 10th century, evil priest.

Now back to the standard descriptibricks. The rooms have normal furnishings, but a jar hidden in the smith’s bedroom holds 27 electrum pieces. Thanks for that. Thanks so much for that.

Many people have pointed out the following incongruity: despite the fact that the module is so handholdy it re-explains everything about how to DM from the original books--going so far as to generously waste a few pages re-printing the rules--and tells the PCs they're heroes and they're going to explore the caves and fight bad evil and what-all, it doesn't at all mention the fact that the KEEP itself is fucking loaded with treasure and described in numismatic and fortificatory detail nobody would need to know unless they were breaking into it. Everybody has all kindsa theories about why it's there--like it's just because Gary gave everything stats and potions or he was expecting the DM to run a bandits-attack-and-PCs-defend adventure (suggested in the module) or because the KEEP itself is the secret objective of the module or some other thing. It's the Hath not a Jew hands speech of D&D lore. At any rate, planning and pulling a heist on the KEEP has always seemed like a lot more stylish of an adventure to DM than watching people killing a lot of stacks of hit points with slightly different heads.

Then we have the section with the stuff-between-the-KEEP-and-the-Caves in the wilderness. As everybody always points out, his is all very good and right because it makes the KEEP into a proper mini-sandbox, but I just keep thinking there is so much goddamn empty space on the map where you could've written in all this information so I wouldn't have to turn back here.
"10 Lizard men AC 5, HD 2 +1, hp 12,10,9, 8,7, 5, #AT 1, D 2-7, MV (20’)" then a little arrow. How hard is that? But that's probably just me.

Another minor mystery: "One by one, males will come out of the marked opening and attack the party." What is this, Missile Command? How did lizard men not die 3 months into the Hyborian Age with this grasp of tactics?

Picture: bloated tree with weird retro-Tiki Saul Steinberg-looking guy hiding behind it.

Now the caves themselves. After 287 words of read-aloud text we have the best things about the caves: notes on monsters ransoming players, learning from the PCs' tactics, etc.

HOBGOBLIN LAIR: Skulls are lined along the walls, and several are affixed to the oaken door to highlight a warning written in common runes: “Come in - we’d like to have you for dinner!” Only the gods of the Hindus have enough faces and enough hands with enough palms on them to put together an appropriate response to this. Welcome to a magical land of pure imagination.

The Debt (american version of Israeli spy movie)(spoilers!)

-Mission: 1. Disguise yourself. 2. Get into enemy territory. 3. Kidnap foe. 4. Return him/her/ it to home.

-Practice remembering your stupid cover story.

-Returning is by far the hardest part.

-Guards here at this time, do this, hide here, chew away fence slowly during these intervals, then hop on this mode of transportation at exactly this time.

-The target needs to be kept alive for a long time and doesn't want to be.

-The cover story arranged by the NPCs is embarrassing but arranged so's it's easier than anything else.

-Failure to perform mission will bring the shit down on PCs, but patrons have no way of knowing they failed. Are PCs willing to falsely accept credit? Probably. However, there may be consequences down the line.

-Lie PCs tell about their exploits is inspiring tale of heroism to their friends and family.

-Old army pal shows up with a "Hey, remember that job we did back in the day? Well..."
story.

-Innocent NPCs wander in while PCs are sneaking around.

-Magic candle detects when things have been recently touched.

The Brotherhood of the Wolf (french 18th-century kung fu movie)(spoilers!)

-Locals unable to describe target of monster-hunt properly

-Toughs hired to sort out same problem as PCs terrorize locals

-Naturalist and bodyguard as core of party

-Classical statues with boar heads and goat heads

-Fancies ask PCs about their previous adventures (over dinner?). Think descriptions of owlbears, giant beavers, etc. are high-larious.

-Locals subject PCs to boxing/wrestling/pankration contest, 2-on-1, then 3-on-1.

-Everybody has an animal totem, though they don't know it. Someone can read them. Some are funny.

-Twisting animal horn used as stock/stabiliser on crossbow or firearm.

-Handheld "Wolverine claw" as melee weapon

-Church service interrupted by hysterical villager reporting monster attack.

-PCs are taken off the job and replaced. However, the fruits of success are too good to give up.

-Person poisons someone with slow-acting poison every morning, then gives them antidote every night. Keeps them around.

(-Love interest turns out to be hot, scantily-clad witch? Like you hadn't already thought of that.)

-Local holymen suspicious/jealous of party cleric.

-Jerk NPC tries to bribe/blackmail/threaten PCs into pretending they successfully completed their mission, even though they didn't.

-Same NPC shows up regularly--after every delve/day of searching, etc.

-Creepy flesh-golem-armor sheathes mundane trained war animal.

-Villains' secret lair detectable via detective-style "where on the map is the center of this mayhem?" inductive reasoning.

-Fast, simple, but difficult-to-execute ritual will buff PCs for final battle.

-Feign death potion.

-Woman's fan with blades attached.

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

It takes place in 932 ad. I did not remember that.

God looks like a terrorist.

I can't tell if this movie is no longer making me laugh because I've seen it so many times and heard every line in it a million times or because it's just old.

Ok, Tim is still funny. As are mooses.

Your Highness:

-How busy are we? So busy we didn't see this. Or Sucker Punch. Maybe you can imagine me not seeing Sucker Punch. But Mandy not seeing Sucker Punch? That's crazy...

-Mandy: unrated version? Z: it probably has tits. Mandy: Let's watch the unrated version...

-halfling jokes never get old. they're short!

-The tracker henchmen's Amadeus hair is always funny

--dude, he's dating belladonna?

-Seth Rogen's (NO WAIT THAT'S DANNY MCBRIDE) expressions are like half the movie

-"Magic...motherfuckers!" Please don't ruin that one for me, internet...

-"This is Fabius's 28th quest, how many have you performed?" that's so 4e

-"I hope this adventure is not too dangerous or boring"

-The part where the princess is like locked up and then the guy's all "It's Fabius, I'm here to save you!" and then is all "No! Its' me! your still a prisoner! I couldn;t keep it up, it was too mean" That's great, I don't care what you say, that's great.

-This quest sucks

-Wait was that Powerball:blind. That was d4 rounds per foe.

-that thing where the henchman betrayed him--that totally never happens to me but i always worry it will. In reality, my henchmen just show up and fight a little and die. Every time. I really hope those guys don't have a union.

-Evil wizard's feast room rocks and i want it

-This whole Martiti Sequence is noteworthy for any number of reasons:

*I realize Martiti himself--the effete, overweight, overlord of the barbarians--is supposed to be kind of So-Wrong-It's-Funny but the casting just came out Holy Hell So Off And Awkward in a weird side drawer level rarely reached by movies with budgets this big. I can barely look at the guy.

*The whole bowl-you-put-your-hand-in-and-it-comes-out-a-giant-salamander-spotted-hydra-thing-in-the-arena thing is awesome and I wouldn't be surprised if this part of the script started life as someone's way cool D&D campaign idea that they always wanted to have in a movie and then they were like, hey, let's just stick it in this stoner movie, otherwise my genius will never see the light of day. In the alternate universe where Stalin never existed and "Creep" was Radiohead's last song, this thing is in a whole other, better movie with Benicio Del Toro in it.

*Jesus hot amazon chicks everywhere. Scratch that thing I said about Benicio Del Toro--there's no good reason to put guys in any movie ever.

-"Maybe some other plan, with...nets or something?" Nets are underrated. They're not even on the Type I equipment list and in Type IV--well let's not even talk about all the ways you can't use a net in Type Iv.

-Courtney rocks.

-...and he can pick pockets...

-if they were smart they woulda brought a grappling hoook so they can stand on top of the labyrinth. Seriously it's a good thing minotaurs don't know about ladders.

-And it would be awesome if jennifer connelly suddenly came around the corner.

-i see they're coming down on the side of "furry darwinistic minotaur" rather than "man-chest with nipples" greek minotaur. Perhaps for the best. If you can't beat Time Bandits don't try.

-I had a whole bunch of notes here, but they all basically boil down to: my actual D&D game where KK's character actually shoved a unicorn horn into Satine's PC's corpses' ass because she actually thought maybe that would bring her back to life is way better than the string of unicorn horn/dick jokes that start here and run til the end of the movie because someone in Hollywood thought they were actually funny.

-Dead henchmen dies roughly the same way kk's last dog did

-it's much less funny once the guy gets the unicorn sword

-ok, having 3 mothers is pretty disturbing

-smacking them into each other so they turn into one is a tactic from a video game called Disgaea

-seriously are all stoners this obsessed with dicks in their ass? ok, the ones I know are, but it's their job.

-the story necessities made it worse--waiting for whatshername to fall in love w/ whatshisname, and for whathisname to learn to be a hero and to love his brother...blah blah. Nobody cares about your goddamn predestined character arc.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Experimental Samurai Battle

Testing yesterday's table-based mass combat system. I borrowed the two samurai armies that Noisms made up using his generator for my example because completely statted armies with disaggregated units complete with levels, weapons, and armor classes don't grow on trees.

Some additions/clarifications to the rules I've made:

Because they are extra mobile and can often run through other troops, cavalry appears more often on the chart than their numbers would indicate--heavy cavalry appears 3 times as much as a normal unit of their size, medium appears 4 times, light cavalry appears 5 times. i.e. if the enemy sees you slicing through them they can more easily send cavalry to intercept you than a foot unit.

Assume the archers are backing up some other unit (so it's essentially a 2-on-1 fight) and that the archer automatically gets to take a shot before the units close. Once the melee units have rolled initiative, archers may fire if they want, but a miss will hit their own guy (speeds things up). The attacking unit does not have to close with the archers to win that stage of the fight if the battle isn't mapped out in enough detail for that to be clear how that works, s/he just has to take out the other melee soldier. However, the archer gets one more shot on the enemy after the melee opponent goes down.

(If there were horse archers I would just run them as a normal fight.)

I assume spells capable of affecting large groups of people count as part of the battle, but I attached them to specific units unless they usually cause damage on their own.

For this particular battle, since the smallest units have 39 members, I used that as the base unit of measurement--i.e. for every 39 foot troops = one result on the table, for every 39 light cav = 5 results on the table, 39 med cav = 4 results, etc.

Lord Bakayaro's cavalry units each had 49 soldiers so I just added one more result to the table for each of his cavalry units.

For this engagement, I chose the simple, head-to-head option. That is: the 2 army lists are short, the "active" player is whichever side gets initiative (until s/he loses a fight, in which case the other player becomes active), and the winner of the last fight before the winning side burns through the other side's table is the winner of the whole thing.

Here is the line-up for the two sides

Lord Bakayaro_________

1 light infantry
2 lt inf
3 lt inf
4 lt inf
5 lt inf
8 heavy inf
9 heavy inf w/archers 0-lvl
10 heavy inf w/archers 0-lvl
11 light cav 0-level
12 lt cav
13 lt cav
14 lt cav
15 lt cav
16 lt cav
17 med cav
18 md cav
19 md cav
20 md cav
21 md cav

Lord Do-Aho

1 Light infantry
2 lt inf
3 lt inf
4 lt inf
7 light cav
8 lt cav
9 lt cav
10 lt cav
11 Heavy cavalry
12 Heavy cav
13 Heavy cavalry (hasted)
14 lt cav (attack from rear after "wall of stone")
15 lt cav (attack from rear after "wall of ice")
16 Heavy infantry w/ archers o-lvl (massmorphed and hidden)
17 Light infantry (w/3 sleep spells)
18 2-handed sword samurai (w/3 web spells)
19 Fireball (40' diameter sphere)

Clearly Bakayaro is the underdog here.

Let's roll initiative.

B: 4 DA: 6

Since Bakayaro's most powerful forces are fairly weak, DA is going to go for a shock and awe strategy, but is still going to keep his most powerful units in reserve. So: Unsupported heavy cavalry leads.

Fight 1:

Mounted Samurai - 1-Level Fighters, 10 hp, naginata, longsword (katana), heavy banded mail, AC 3

vs....roll a d4, add 3 for the horse's HD and 1 for fighter level, giving us...8! DA's men have penetrated deep into Bakayaro's lines and are now facing heavy infantry...

Foot Samurai - 1-Level Fighters, 10 hp, long spear, longsword (katana), heavy splint mail, AC 3

DA's mounted samurai win initiative. DM rules that since they're in the middle of a huge melee the samurai can either go for a trample or a regular attack on any given opponent, not both. The samurai graciously allows the horse to attack since it has a better chance and 3 attacks. It hits twice for...7 and then 3.

That's that for Bakayaro's heavy infantry, they suffer 10% casualties and are no longer a factor.

Since DA won, he keeps the initiative and rolls d4 + 4 again and adds it to 8 (since he was already at result 8 on the table) where he already was...16! Lord Overkill is on fire today.

Fight 2:

Mounted Samurai - 1-Level Fighters, 10 hp, naginata, longsword (katana), heavy banded mail, AC 3

vs.

Mounted Samurai - 1-Level Fighters, 8 hp, naginata, short bow, longsword (katana), brigandine armour, AC 5

Initiative to DA again...DM rules the samurai can either have the horse bite for d3 or attack normally. Attacker swings his katana and...miss, his opponent also misses (due to BA's superior armor--that banded mail was a good investment), he hits for 5, opponent misses, he hits again for 7. The unit lasted 3 rounds, thus taking 30% casualties.

DA is kicking ass, if he rolls over a 1, he's gone off the chart and it's all over...

...3.

DA wins after 2 fights and 4 rounds of combat.

DA's heavy cavalry unit got in 2 fights, thus 20% casualties.

DA's other units take d% casualties per unit--no modifiers since they didn't lose any "spotlight" battles. Lord B's other units take d% +10% casualties since they lost 2 fights.

________

Advantages: it's fast and gives us the outline of a story about about how the battle went.

Disadvantages: if the players are playing one (or both) of the sides and the battle is this small (only 20 results on the table)--and they had some investment in building the tables--I can see them being disappointed that they didn't get to see their more interesting units fight. This might be somewhat remedied by running the PCs-are-always-active version, but a quick-resolution system is a quick-resolution system and there still seems (if you don't have the patience for such things that all DMs do) like there's an imbalance between building the army and seeing it play out.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Mass Battle Ideas From A Pendragon Hack

From The Great Pendragon Campaign, (5th ed I believe):

Battle of Camlann

The unique nature of this battle warrants this special table for the Gamemaster...

To start, roll 1d6 to find the foe for the first round. Each round thereafter, roll 1d6 and go that many points down the list to find the next foe.

When at the bottom of the list, go back to the top, counting each number. Since many of the troops are unique, scratch them off if they were devastated and go on to the next one.


Example: First round, the Gamemaster rolls a 4. The knights fight against Castle Guards. Next round, the Gamemaster rolls a 2, so the player knights fight against British Peasants.

Camlann Random Enemy Table

1 Arab Saracens (use Arab warrior stats)
2 Atecotti savages* (use Saxon chieftain stats)
3 British bandits (use bandit stats)...

and 45 more results after that, roughly growing in strength--"Personal Enemy" appears near the end there.

Possible hacks for this format of mass battle table:

-First, the obvious: Add more results--100 or more

-Need to pad out the chart? Several results could just be "goblin with 4 hp + number just rolled on die" or "# of goblins = # just rolled on die"

-Some results could just be: "enemy wizard casts Earthquake or Nassim's Skull Ocean, deal".

-Some results could just be "now you're fighting uphill, -1 to hit and damage for a number of fights = d4 minus your dex mod"

-Battle ends when PCs die or get to end of the table

-PCs fight enemy leader or other strategic objective once they battle through the whole table (like get past those orcs to knock down the multi-tusk elephant)

-Rather than rolling d6 to move up the table, PCs roll d4 and add either their worst dex modifier or highest fighter level to the result. If they are mounted, add the weakest mount's HD.

-Any single PC may make a wisdom check or fighter level check (roll under level on a d20) to re-roll an undesired result
_______

These tables can also be hacked so they don't just apply to PCs trying to make their way through a big battle, but for running a whole battle, with the PCs acting as generals.

-For a short mass battle, use shorter tables (10-30 results). PCs pick a kind of troop they'd like to "lead" with. That troop type (represented by one guy of that type) starts rolling on the enemy table and fighting until s/he dies. At that point, the PCs pick another unit. Whoever has the most victories by the end of the table wins. Or, whoever wins the last battle wins (this is tactically complex: if you lead with your strongest unit, they might get worn out before the end of the table--where the enemies' strongest troops lie. But if you lead with your weaker troops, they might roll high and end up facing a foe that outmatches them.) To get real complicated, it's whoever wins the most fights plus the last battle is worth 4 fights.

Casualty figures of losing units = % casualties of losing unit = 10% x # of rounds they lasted x.
So like if they lasted 4 rounds, they took 40% casualties.

Casualty figures of winning units = 10% x number of total fights they got in before losing.

Casualty figures of units not "zoomed in" on during the battle: the winner rolling d100% -5 per "leading" fight won and the loser rolling d100% +5 per lost fight.

-If both armies are equally detailed, you could do head to head tables: two sides each have a table. Winner of each fight rolls on enemy table, first one to end of other side's table wins. When you lose, you cross that troop type off the list and your table just shrank.

-Campaign idea: by running around the sandbox and making deals with local bigwigs, fancies, and muckamucks, make your table as long as you can in preparation for upcoming mass battle. When the battle comes, PCs get to play themselves running thru the enemy table PLUS all the foes the enemy rolls as s/he attempts to slog thru the PCs' table. (For this one, the two tables could be shorter than d100, so there's time for both sides.)

-You could "recruit" terrain results onto your side's table (like the 4th result above) by choosing terrain carefully.

-A PC casting a spell with a large area of effect or large # of foes affected could turn a number of results in the enemy's next coming roll into "deal with this spell" effects according to some scaling rule like for every 20 square feet or 20 troops affected that's 1 result on the enemy's next roll. If they survive, they re-rolling on the table from where they left off.

So if you cast a rock-to-mud and it affected a 40 square foot area that'd mean the enemy rolling a 1 or a 2 would result in the unit they're leading with having to deal with how the ground is now made of mud.

-(This is kinda like building a Magic:TG deck isn't it?)

-Recruitment scaling rules for the campaign idea: every 100 troops = 1 result so a 100-result table ( would require recruiting 10,000 troops. Which seems reasonable to me, assuming the PC fighters'll be pretty high level by the time they get to the battle. Special troops (centipedetaurs, giant landsquids) could be presumed to be recruited at a level of like 1 unit of whatever size (4 giant eagles? ok) is just worth 1 result due to how mobile or powerful they are. Cavalry could be like 5-to-1, so 25 cavalry are worth one result.

-Alternate scheme: attacker is always the one rolling, defender is the one who builds the table. Depends on whether you want the game to be about building the army and choosing the terrain, etc. or PCs' experience during the battle.

Friday, September 16, 2011

New Old Magic Item

It was a tape of human skin, cut from the silhouette of the dead man. That is to say, the cut had been begun at the right shoulder, and the knife—going carefully in a double slit so as to make a tape—had gone down the outside of the right arm, round the outer edge of each finger as if along the seams of a glove, and up on the inside of the arm to the arm-pit. Then it had gone down the side of the body, down the leg and up it to the crotch, and so on until it had completed the circuit of the corpse's outline, at the shoulder from which it had started. It made a long ribbon.

The way to use a Spancel was this. You had to find the man you loved while he was asleep. Then you had to throw it over his head without waking him, and tie it in a bow. If he woke while you were doing this, he would be dead within the year. If he did not wake until the operation was over, he would be bound to fall in love with you.

--Once and Future King,
TH White