Shiny Shiny Boots

So it was a 3 anna half hour flight from Chicago to LAX and they put me next to a 19 year old girl who starts the conversation with "I like your tattoos Are you from California? I'm from Texas I never flew on a plane this big before I'm in the Navy Who does this bitch think she is?".

So, yeah, I knew immediately I was about to have a 3 anna half hour conversation. Or at least hear a 3 anna half hour monologue.

She alternated explaining (how to properly attach bombs to the bottom of an F-18 Hornet, how to treat your dress uniform if you're not a fucking dirtbag, how to salute a superior officer if you're not a fucking shithead, how great her all-marine corps family was even though they didn't let her join the marines, and what all her favorite (completely emopop damaged) hardcore bands were) with complaining (about: her ex-fiancee, "all authority", not having had a drink in 5 hours, how hard it is to get in to see bands on the weekends from the base, the inability of her stupid slutty drunk lazy bomb-attaching dirtbag subordinates to follow her Friday quitting time speech re: keeping their shit together on the weekends, her all-marine corps family, how hard it was to get a fake ID). So, basically: the kind of fantasmagoric museum of articulate cognitive dissonance you only ever get in 19 year olds and very inebriated senior citizens.

In addition to the terrifying information that this young woman was in charge of making sure explosive ordinance did not accidentally fall out of the sky onto parts of the state in which I currently reside and type and that she was actually in charge of other people, it occurred to me that this is the kind of individual they are talking about who really needs the whole brassy shindig of the US military to protect her--not from Osama Bin Laden, but from herself.

On the other hand, I once had a drink with Alex Macris--who you may know as the author of the most aggressively researched econocore parts of the Adventurer Conqueror King RPG--and he explained the brevity of his tenure with our esteemed armed forces at West Point on the following grounds:

So, f'r'example: we had to polish our boots all the time. But--well you used to have to polish your boots to waterproof them. That was the point. But now the boots are made of completely waterproof material. There's no point, it's just busywork. I could have been doing--anything. That stuff just drove me crazy. I left.

One could make a decent argument that our military could very well use Alex Macris. But he did not need it.

(I ran Alex's waterproofing parable past the 19-year-old. Her only response was: "Yeah, you gotta keep your boots spitshine. Hey, d'you know Jimmy Eat World?")

_

Now me myself personally I didn't ever understand about the army and its rules-obsession until I read about the Civil War. And then I got it: Oh, you have these rules and chains of commands and these lines and orders because 5 minutes into genuine combat you are going to have to rebuild all the wagons out of chicken wire because they've been torched, and make new gunpowder out of bacon grease and horse spit, and then eat the horse, and then replace a now-decapitated commanding officer with the closest native english speaker in the next 8 seconds. Because war.

So yes, there are sometimes good reasons for rules--or, as PJFalsemachine says here:

Warfare is very difficult and produces enormous stress in the people who undertake it. As a consequence, the organisations that are directed to warfare develop rituals, manners and structures that are designed to control, displace, channel, and otherwise deal with stress. Because these organisations develop such qualities they then attract individuals who find themselves in personal need of these qualities in normal life. (Italics mine.)((That is, anti-italics representing PJ's italics . -Z))

In Dixon's own words “..those very characteristics which are demanded by war – the ability to tolerate uncertainty, spontaneity of thought and action, having a mind open to the receipt of novel, and perhaps threatening, information – are the antitheses of those possessed by people attracted to the controls, and orderliness of militarism. Here is the germ of a terrible paradox.”

And then he goes on to draw the parallel you are probably already expecting to GMing which I'll try not to repeat too much of.

The most strenuous and obstinate arguments against the games I want to play always end up going "I've been playing RPGs for 300 years and the way you want to do it always ends in horrible badness because (someone at the tale who is an idiot or 12 does something only an idiot or 12 year old would do) and the game crashes and burns and everyone is sad and scarred with napalm and cries. The rules need to be like (some whole other boring endless thing about sucking and extra new rules that suck)" and you wonder Where are you that you know anyone who does that and needs to be told not to and why do you play games with them?

Rules. Rules are ok. The kinds of rules shape the game, as the kind of armies shape the war. But there are many other factors at work in a war: the terrain upon which it is fought, the politics that started it and surround it, the objectives of the war, and, naturally, the kinds of people fighting.

Imagine A GM, Rolling On An Orange Chart. Forever.

If you click it, it will be bigger.

So, as I pointed out to back in that long Sandboxes And The Roguish Work Ethic post back in whenever I wrote it, one way to make a hero-centric sandbox is to have the heroes acting as revolutionaries in an oppressive 1984/WH40k/RIFTS-coalition/Handmaid's Tale/Animal-Farm-In-Gamma-World/Vecnacracy/Age-of-Apocalypse/Legion-of-Superheroes-Vol-4/Occupied France/Pretty Much Anywhere When The Mafia's After You/Ballardian Distopia horrible suckworld or otherwise metaphorical badplace.

Conveniently enough, there is an old module--Nightmares of Future Past--for Marvel Super-Heroes/FASERIP by Steve Winter, which has that exact concept as a premise. And, more importantly for me here today--it has a fun chart!

The chart is about the villains finding the party's hideout. They roll once a day.

It works in the following way:

Your baddies start in the middle column where I put some blue numbers.

The idea is the players have some sort of scrambly device protecting them from being found by the Mutant Detectors. The device can be good or crappy or great or whatever--the central column goes from "no mask" (that is, no protection device) all the way up thru Marvel's rank system Feeble, Poor, Typical.....up to Unearthly.

Side note: naturally you can sub in the rank system for whatever system you're using and sub in the antidetection device for whatever the PCs are using to conceal themselves. I have put in the d20 numbers. We can say they represent the Intelligence of the party member who designed the camouflage for the PCs base, or the stealth number of the party's thief, or the DC of the protection spells the wizard is using to hide everybody or...whatever. Just basically know that the best possible thing the PCs could pull off would get them up at the top and if they're like fuck it we don't give a fuck they're down in the No Mask box.

So you start each day with the fascists looking for our heroes. They roll on the appropriate middle-column box matching the level of the heroes' concealment on the first day. If they fail their roll, then that's a white result. If they get even (like they need to roll 6 or above and they roll 6) then that's a green result (I know, there's no green on the chart, chill--all shall be explained), if they succeed unequivocally that's a yellow result, and if they succeed like whoa that's a red result.

So you tick off the box where the villains are. If you get a white result, you follow the white arrow and tick over to that box. If you get a green result, you stay where you are. If you get a yellow result or a red, you follow those.

So you just moved to a new box. Rock on. That was fun.

The new box is interpreted as follows:

-Base Located means the villains bust in to the heroes' base.

-Start Over means you go back to the middle and start over. I know, you are indeed shocked and so glad I told you.

-Other Base means the villains have found some other revolutionary cell, not you. There'll be news of it that'll get back to the heroes.

-Tip-off means the Man has gone and done something which makes it obvious they're on the heroes' trail and so the party knows.

-Miss Target means the villains have just raided...an umbrella factory? A House of Pies? WTF? They hit the wrong place. It's funny.

-Event means--in the original--a whole list of various thingamavents that are interesting that could happen on Fascist Mutanthunt Earth. In the original it's like "Oh there's a mutant just escaped and being chased by Sentinels--do you help or not?" or "A bunch of Boy Scouts accidentally stumble on your base" et cetera. This is the place where you write a chart of events that are specific to your setting.

-All The Blank Boxes And All The Results Above 'Base Located' In the Central Column just mean nothing happened that day and the heroes are left to make their own trouble that day or you just go "Ok, Wednesday's quiet" and you tick over there and roll again the next day.

At any rate, after you resolve a box, the villains start there and roll again the next day from there.

____

In addition to this chart, Future Past suggests the brilliant and traumautizing idea of using the players home town as the hellworld sandbox in question.

Now, on account of Google maps and streetview this is an even better idea than it was when the module is written. Hell, set it anywhere you want.

Ahhhh, Bushwick, I miss you. If you ever end up on this corner, run do not walk to Las Islas and get some chicken and rice and 2 of the orange ball things. Unless it's taken over by robot logiceater bad domination machines.

Now the only part left is to pick some local landmarks to serve as possible targets for your PCs' cell. Which of course they have to walk to while you click "forward" on Google street view. If there aren't like 9 zombie games on the market which suggest exactly this method I'll eat...I'll eat like some pasta.

_______

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE

So I'm also thinking you could use this for a war. Basically, instead of the middle column representing just how well-concealed the party is, it could, in general, represent how close the party is to their target--Confederate Richmond or The Gates of Mordor or The Death Star or any other target. Instead of "Base Located" the box is "Your unit attacked".

Or just otherwise how conspicuous the PCs are, on a scale.

Like if you imagine the Shire-To-Mordor hexmap plus The 9 and the Orcs rolling on this chart every day, then you can pretty much model everything that happens in LOTR.

In effect, the Orange Fascist Chart functions as a kind of counterforce to a hexmap. The heroes explore or seek and the villains roam around the orange chart, making stuff happen.

Unlike just a straight d100 chart of events to roll on each day, it models the heroes attempts to hide themselves a little better plus the villains attempts to find them is dependent on how well they did the day before without a lotta math. Plus you don't have to think up all your events for the table at once, just having one event locked and loaded if you roll "event" is good enough. The rest takes care of itself.

That said, there's probably a way to model it pretty closely where you roll on a chart which has more results on it then the die has sides--add numbers if the PCs are well-hidden, subtract if they're not, add if the last roll was successful, subtract if it wasn't. etc. But hey, this chart's already here, might as well use it.

CAGE MATCH! Marvel Super Heroes v. Marvel Heroic

Ok, so there is a new Marvel superhero RPG out.

Tho old one (Marvel Super Heroes a.k.a. "FASERIP"--named after the stats used in the system) is pretty well respected.

How do they stack up? Try this:

Open a window with this here in it.

Put it next to what follows and read in parallel.

(I’m using bold text for the GM (a/k/a the Judge).) Okay, so let’s cut to a new scene. Spider-Man, you’re on top of the Fisk Building. Since you stopped to threaten the Kingpin a second ago, I’m going to say that the Vulture’s had a few minutes to take to the air. He's flying away at 6 areas per round as is his wont, so if you want to do anything, now's your chance. The Vulture looks over his shoulder at you and snarls, “You’ll never catch the Vulture, wall-crawler!” What now?

(I’m using regular text for Spider-Man’s player.) Well, I guess I could try to web him up. But last time that didn't work so well, plus he'd probably going to spend all his points to dodge it, plus if I don't catch him now the Atomic Slut will annihilate Battery Park and everyone in it!

Wait, why are you talking about that, that isn't in the original example?

Because in this version of the game I have to actually worry about consequences of my PCs actions in the fictional world we created rather than just consequences in terms of which digit I have to carry on my character sheet.

Oh, right, anyway, carry on...

Ok, so I need to hit him but I need to make 100% sure I do it or we're all doomed. Fuck! I don't know what to do, this is my first time playing.

This is your first time playing?

Yeah, I mean, you told me in the FASERIP system I didn't really necessarily have to know the rules I could just say what I wanted to do and you could explain if necessary.

Oh yeah, that's totally true--a lovely thing about good systems. So what you're going to need is some Karma points to add to your roll in case you miss the Vulture. Now normally you get those after the session ends but I give them right away otherwise the players forget what they even got them for and they are less a part of the economy of the game.

Wait, you're hacking the system? Why?

Because that's what all good people do. Hacking is good. Hacking is smart. Hacking is a force that gives us meaning.

Oh, right.

Here's another hack: there's a horror game hack that by making something go wrong for your PC you can get a bonus....

"Oh no! I’m out of webs!" Yeah, I mean, I really wanted to ruin the Kingpin’s upholstery back there. You should see the place. Webs everywhere. I guess I shouldn’t have been so wasteful.

Let's say that gives you karma = half the power rank of the power you just crippled. Incredible hardens to Monstrous, split the difference, call it Amazing. 25 Karma. Plus how are you hitting the Vulture?

“Without my web-fluid, he may be right!” There’s probably heavy industrial stuff on this rooftop, right? Like A/C units, satellite dish, water tower, that kind of thing? I’m gonna rip up a big chunk of roofing machinery and chuck it at the Vulture. Mmmm...I think I want some more karma: “Hate to wreck property, but I gotta keep the HVAC unions in over-time!” Role-playing award?

Yes, wow, that seamless melange of soft-hearted-pseudo-New-York-provincialese and Level Nine Anti-Funny sounded exactly like vintage Al Milgrom. You are at 30 karma and I am impressed. Anyway, Vulture gets a 75 to dodge, you are at -4CS (don't mind me, I'm talking to myself, newbie) you need a 46 to hit him.

Yeah but I need something insane to actually knock him out of the sky right? I want to destroy the wings.

98 to get a red result and stun him--I'd say this is roughly the same thing. Red result to disable his harness, he'll roll against it as if it were a stun to avoid falling out of the sky.

Okay, so I’m going to throw the AC Unit one-handed at the Vulture and break those smelly wings. And I'll need more Milgrom dialogue! “Vulture, if you’re flying south for the winter, you’ll need air-conditioning!”

5 more karma and you are at +35. Also, that "smelly wings" thing makes me think maybe you just are Al Milgrom and so I shouldn't be giving you these karma awards at all, but whatever...

80! Plllllus 35!

Yes sir he is down. The Vulture groans in pain and plummets from the sky! He’s going to try to roll to.... (Roll roll) Yeah. Not going so well. He’s falling toward a building helplessly–thinking maybe he had a spare power pack somewhere and realized he forgot it at home. What do you do now?

I’m going to swing over there and get him.

The Vulture’s screaming out, “My wings, my wings!” He’s unsure whether to be more scared of Spider-Man or hitting the rooftop, and so isn’t able to prepare well against either.

I’m closing in on my web-line. Thwip! Thwip!

Okay. And–hey, wait a minute! Weren’t you out of web-fluid?

I, um, forgot. Yeah, forgot. Say, you know what’s interesting about the Vulture? He’s like Spider-Man’s evil grand-dad or something. They’re both gadget-guys, they’re both acrobats, but Peter Parker is a nice kid and.....

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ok so why isn't the Vulture dead smartguy?

Ok, he's gonna try to tumble with it...alright, he's alive. Took some slam damage from falling 3 areas. Okay, so let’s say you’re clambering onto the rooftop where the Vulture landed. He’s all banged up and looks like he’s seen better days. What now?

(play continues)

EXQUISITE CARCOSA AVDENTURE GAME

Ok, kids--NEW GAME!!!!!

We take this adventure that Joesky wrote and Dyson drew the map for and pass it around just keep adding stuff (each in your own color) until it's a whole campaign worth of adventure...

This color: JOESKY (Feb 17, 2012)

This color: Zak S (Mar 6, 2012)

__________________________

Original material is here.

__________________________

A CARCOSA AVDENTURE FOR YOU



HERE IS A CARCOSA I MADE. IT IS FOR THE MAP FROM DYSON LOGOS, WHO MAKES THE AWESOMEST MAPS OFALL.

YOUR MISSHIN: KILL THESE GODDAMS BEFORE THEY SUMMON THE AMFIBIOUS ONES. THE SORCEROR IS READY TO ROCK, JUST WAITING FOR SOME FOG AT NIGHT. MAYBE THE PCS ARE HIRED BY AFRAID VILLAGERS, OR THEY CATCH A JALE GUY WHO RAN AWAY, OR SOMETHING TO TELL THEM THAT A

RIUTUAL IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. Or maybe someone's noticed precisely the right varieties of gem, creature, and virgin are missing. WHATEVER, JUST GET THEM OVER THEIR AND TELL THEM TO HURRY THE FUCK UP AND SAVE THE LITTLE GIRL. IF YOU WANT TO PUT SOME URGENT ON IT, THEN SAY TONIGHT WILL BE A FOG NIGHT, OR SOME NIGHT IN 1-4 NIGHTS.

THIS IS A SMALL LAIRE SO BIG FIGHT NOISE FROM ONE AREA (#1-5) WILL ALERT ALL THE OTHERS AREA, UNLESS YOU DO A REAL SNEEK TAKEDOWN.

ALSO THE AC IS DESCENTING BECAUSE IN AMERICA YOU’ARE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND YOU CAN PRY MY DESCENTING AC FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS (BUT I HOPE IT SOENS’T COME TO THAT!!!! But also I've added ascending AC because America--unlike Carcosa--was built on the principles of both Liberty and Equality....not to mention Convenience.

1) ASSHOLETREE. JUST LOOKS LIKE A DEAD TREE (and, temptingly for your sneakier PCs, it is 10' taller than the wall to which it is mouthwateringly adjacent--which wall is 80' tall if you are wondering. Oh, and so are all the others.) BUT THE JOKES IS ON YOU! SPAWN OF SHUBNIGURATH (MV NONE, AC 8/12 BARK, HD 15, SPECIAL ATT., AL C). SLEEPS IN DAY, ONLY TIME OF FOR DANGER IS NIGHT. IF ANYONE GOES UNDER THE TREE TO SLEEP OR PISS OR SPY OR JUST WHATEVER, ROOTS COME OUT FROM GROUND AND A GRAB -ATTACK IS HAPPEN! ON 6D6 ROLL EACH ROUND – UNDER STR 3X IN ROW AND YOU BREAK FREE, ROLL OVER 3X IN ROW AND YOU ARE SUCKED UNDER THE DIRT (INSTADEATH!), ANYTHING ELSE AND YOU JUST STUCK IN A WRESSLE. FRENDS WHO HELP MIGHT GET A GRAB-ATTACKT TO – THE ASSHOLETREE MAY SPREAD ITS GRABBER ROOTS AROUND, LIKE 2D6 AGAINST ONE GUY AND 4D6 AGAINST A NOTHER, OR 2D6 ON ONE AND 3D6 ON OTHER AND 1D6 FOR SOMEONE ONE OTHER ATTACK, ETERCETERA……..ETC…….. (THE TREE LIKES TO GRAB LOTS OF PEOPLE SO DON’T BE A DICK DM AND GIVE ALL 6D6 ON ONE DUDE IF MORE PCS ARE THEIR). ANYONE NOT GETTING ROOT-FONDLED CAN ATTACK (ONLY CHOPPER WEPONS DO DAMAGE. NO TRESURE HEAR, JUST A SHITTY ATITUDE TREE. If compelled to reveal its secrets by some means it pretty much knows everything because nobody is like Oh, hey we better not talk about this here because there's a tree. Including he knows the Boss can't hear anything. As do most of the cultists below, by the way.

2. ROMPUS ROOM. 8 JALE CULTERS (AC 8/12, MV 12, HD 1, AC 8 HEVY ROBES, 1 ATTACK WITH A KNIFE OR CLUB, AL C) DICK AROUND IN HEAR NOT DOING MUCH. 55% CHANCE DURING A DAY ONE OFTHEM PAYS ATTENTION OUT THE FRONT DOOR TO SEE INTRADERS, 13% CHANCE AT NIGHT. THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT THE TREE SO IF THEY SEE IT EATING SOME-ONE THEY WILL IF A TREE EATED SOME-ONE THEY WILL FREAK OUT (A MONSTER-TREE????? I DID NOT SINE-UP FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11) AND COWARD IN THE ROOM. FOR HAPPENS IN THAT IS A YES. EACH GUY HAD 4-16SP + 0-5GP TRESURES.

2A) BACKDOOR BERNIES. 2 JALE CULTERS (MV 12, AC 9/11 SHITTY CLOSE, HD 1, 1 ATTACK SLING OR KNIVE, AL N) LOOK OUT THE BACK WAY and also, occasionally "fish"--or whatever the word is for trying to pull slimeslathered finny abstractions out of whatever pellucid ooze passes for water in dim Carcosa. THEY ARE SCARED SHITLESSS AND ALWAYS ALERT 80% OF THE TIME. ALSO THEY ARE NOT CONVINCE THAT RAPING GIRLS AND HANG-OUT WITH MONSTERS IS A COOL; IDEA, SO IF IF THE PCS LOOK ALL BUFF THEY WILL SWICH SIDES AND JOIN AS HENTCHMEN AND FIGHT HARD TO MAKE THINGSR IGHT.NO TRESURE FOR THESE GUYS, THEY JUST PAYED THEIR CULT DO’S. Though they do have a net and a tackle box. It has some twisty hooks and live bait--unsettling, small things best left alone, really. One is psionic and whispers things. It is kind of like an emeraldish looking dumpling with teeth. It can be used as a magical or psionic battery to double a caster's power, but every time it is used it gets one of the caster's actions with which to do as it dumplingly pleases. It may save these up for a whole simultaneous mess of mayhem or dribble them out one at a time.

They also have a copy of "The Compleat Angler" whose title translates into Carcosan as "Mesh Death".

3) SHITSTORM. THIS IS WHER THE TOUGHGUY CULTERS HANG OUT. 4 JALE CULT THUGS (MV 12, AC 7/13 NAKED BUT FAST, HD 2+1, 2 ATTACKS EACH WITH A CRAZY LOOKING SICKEL OR CURVY SWORD OR SOMETHIN-G IN EACH HAND unless the PCs are very quiet, one is kinda hiding around the corner and has blinding powder--makes a 10' cloud, save or be blind, AL C, CAUSE FEER UNLESS SAVE VS. SPELLS FOR ANYONE WITH LOWER HD) GO FUCKING CRAZY AT THE CHANCE TO FIGHT. IMMUNE TO ANY MIND GAMES THAT CAUSE THEM NOT TO FIGHT, DONT BOTHER MORALE. ORANGE WARPAIINT IN SWURLS & SIMBOLS, HOOT AND HOLLAR, DO CARTWEELS AND FLIPS TO CHOP YOU UP. NO TRESURE, THESE FUCKERS ARE IN IT FOR THE MURDERRAPEING

THERES ALSO A FIRE WITH SOME TASTY LIZARD MEAT GRILLING UP ON STICKS (EAT A HOT FOOD MEAL EACHDAY HEALS EXTRA 1HP PER DAY).

THE STARES GO DOWNSTARES 20′ THEN END IN A GIANT METAL DOOR OF HI-TECHNOLOGY. THEIR IS A PALM LOCK THAT OPENS FOR A SPACE ALIEN HAND (EVEN A DECAPATAINTED ONE) OTHER WISE YOU NEED EXPLOSIONS OR LOTS OF DINOSARS TO OPEN THIS BABY UP. INSIDE………………….IS UP TO YOU, DM!!!!!!!!!!!11 MAYBE A WAY OFF CARCOSA IF THE PCS ARE JUST VISIT FROM ANOTHER CAMPAINE, MAYBE SPACE ALIEN GOODIES, OR MUMMY BRAINS OR SOMETHING……….THE IMAGANATION IS YOUR LIMIT (IE. NO LIMIT).

3A) BOSS ROOM. HERE WE GO, THE MAIN EVENT!!! IN THIS CORNER IS A REAL PRICK, ‘THE MEGATOLLAH OF MAYHAM’ JALE 4TH LEVEL SORCER (MV 9, AC 4/16 CHAIN+HEVY ROBES, HD4, ATTACK PIRATE SWORD OR SPECIAL, AL C). His ears have slowly LaMarcked over into clubbed mounds in response to his Serpentine Amplifier (see below) and so he can't hear. He relies on his guys in room 3 to warn him of impending whatnot. He'll be asleep if the PCs show up during daylight. HE WARES A CREEPY SNAKE-MAN FILTER OVER MOUTH THAT AMPERFIES HIS SHOUT TO DEADLY SOUND LEVEL! WHEN HE YELLS A CONE BLASTS OUT 2D DAMAGE TO 20′, 1D TO 40′, FARTHER AWAY THEN THAT ALL IT DOES IS PISS YOU OFF IF YOU HAVE A HANG OVER. HE CAN BUST SHIT LIKE THE 3 LITTLE PIGS IF HE STANDING REAL LYCLOSE. WHEN HE MAKES A SHOUT IT TAKES 3 ROUNDS TO RECHARGE FOR ANOTHER ONE. IF THE PCS END UP WITH THIS THING, MAKE IT A 5% CHANCE PER USING TO BLOW ITSELF UP. HE KNOWS THE TWO AMFIBIOUS ONES RITUALS. HE WARES CHROME BRACERS WORTH 75GP + GOLD TOERING 25GP.

AND NEXT TO HIM IS HIS LOVE-BIRD A JALE CHICK 2ND FIGHTER (MV 12, AC 8/12 CHAIN BRA+PANTIES, HD 2, ATT. 2 FLAME OIL BOTTLES, AL C). She likewise has all fucked-up ears but they look better on her--she still can't hear though. SHE WARES 8 JADE BRASELETTES ON ANKLES AND ARMS shaped like centipedes WORTH 40GPEACH + GOLD BELLY CHAIN 45GP (I LOVE THOSE THINGS!!!!!).

THEY MITE EVEN BE BROTHER/SISTER LIKE IN THAT MOVIE “THE CROW” WHICH MAKESIT EVEN WIERRDER……..OR NOT I JUST THOGUHT THAT COULD BE GOO DA IDEA. LIKE IN THE CROW. I HAVE SEEN THIS MOVIE ABOUT 12 TIMES AND I HAVE A THE CROW CREW JACKIT (I DID NOT WORK ON THE CROW, ONLY WATCH TED IT.) I have the soundtrack.

ANYWAY THEY LIKE TO HANG BACK AND WATCH THE THUGS GO TO TOWN, SHE WILL LAUGH AND TOSS OIL BOTTLES EVERY KNOW AND THEN. IF TWO OF THE THUGS GO DOWN HE WILL JOIN IN COMBAT WITH A SHOUT (assuming they're awake) (HE DONT CARE WHO HE HITS)(and, yes, he is dumb enough to kill everyone who can hear), THE SISTER WILL TRY TO RUN OUT BACK AND GRAB THE WHITE GIRL AND RUN AWAY.

JACKEDPOT!!!! THIS IS THE TRESURE ROOM, A CHEST XCONTAIN: 1135GP + 924SP + 23 PURPLE CRISTALS WORTH 30GP EACH. A LITTLE POT CONTINAES GOOP THAT LOOKS LIKE HONEY, SMELLS LIEK TURDS, AND S 4 DOSES THAT IF YOU EAT YOU GET PSIONICS POWER FOR 1-2 DAYS (and a small handlike "crown" grows on the tip of your tongue, it will slowly try to reach into your brain while you sleep if not amputated within 3 days). A SILVER COFFER WORTH 75GP HOLDS SNAKE-MEN POTENCY ROOTS. 4 PRIMO-BLEND TORCHES THAT BURN FOR 12 HOURS EACH AND CANT BE BLOWED OUT, ONLY SPLASHED OUT WITH WATER ARE AGANST THE WALL. AND THERE’S A MAN-CATCHER IN HEAR TO (MAKEUP SOME RULES FOR). The boss and his babe use the sleeping body of a pupal giant Mothra as a bed. It won't turn into a Mothra for like 5 more years. Probably someone would pay good money for it if they could get it alive. Weighs about 500 lbs.

4) WALK THE DINOSAR. IN HERE IS A ANKLOSARUS (MV 6, HD10, AC2/18 SKINS, 1 ATT. IF IT HITS ROLL D4 1) BITE 1D, 2) STOMP 2D, 3) TAIL THWAP 3D, 4) NO DAMAGE BUT TOSSED 30FEETS AWAYS, AL N) THEY ARE TRY TO TAME BY STARVE HIM, BUT IT DOES NOT WORK. HE IS CHAINED TO THEFL OOR BUT NOW IS FEDUP WITH THE BULL-SHIT: ANYONE COMES IN AND IT BRAKES A CHAIN AND GOES NUTS. ALOS IF IT HEARS A FIGHT NOISE IN #3 IT GOES CRAZY AND BUSTS THREW THE WALL LIKE A KOOL-AID-MAN (BUT WITH ANGER TO GIVE INSTEAD OF REFRESHING KOOL-AID). WHENEVER IT ATTACKTS IT GOES FOR RANDOM PERSON (EVEN CULTGUYS). TRESURE: A DEAD CULT BODY (GOT TWO CLOSE DUMMY!) HAS 4G.P. + 15S.P. + 6 ARROWS + SILVER DAGGAR. Also, the ankylosaur's shell is encrusted with precious gems (for some ceremonial reason) worth 1000gp, but each miss--like any hit that would've made it if not for its meddling AC--destroys 1 gp value worth of gems per hit point of damage done.

5) COME AND GET EM. 3 PRIOSNERS TIEDTO THE 3 PILLERS HERE AND TORCHES BURN ON OF TOP EACH ONE.

PRISONER 1: PURPLE DUDE (MV 3, AC9/11, HD 1HP LEFT, NO ATTACK UNTIL YOU GIVE HIM A WEPON, AL N). HES BEEN BEATDOWN AND FUCKED UP SO HE WILL PROBALY DIE NO MATTER WAHT BUT IF YOU SET HIM FREE AND GIVE HIM A WEPON HE FIGHTING LIKE A 5TH LEVEL FIGHTER TO GET HIS REVENJE ON JALE ASSHOLES.ONE HIT KILLS HIM SO TRY TO MAKE SURE GETS A SHOTIN.

PRISONER 2: WHITE GIRL (MV12, AC 9/11, HD 1/2, ATT. DAGGAR, ALN). SHE GOT THE wiggly DAGGAR HID SOMEWARE SO IF A UNTIE COMES FROM THE JALE CHICK TO RUN, A STAB HAPPINS RIGHT AWAY. TRY TO KEEP HER SAVE, SHE DOES NOT DESERVE A CARCOSA HER. (MAYBE GIVE EXTRA XP FOR A RESCUE). She is dyed orange for some reason.

PRISONAR 3: BONE LADY (MV 15, AC 7/13 NAKED BUT FAST, HD 3, ATT. STRANGAL). THOSE ARE SOME WEIRD STATS FOR A JUST BONE LADY………..BECASUE SHE IS NOT! A TRICK IS MADE!!!!!!! SOMETIME IN THE PASSED DAYS A FUCKER SPAWN NIGURATH CREPT OUT FROM SWAMP AND GANKED HER IT HAS DOPPELGANGLER POWERS. HER SKIN IS MOSTLY SEETHROUGH BUT SOME NOT-SEETHROUGH PATCHES MIGHT GIVE THE TRICK AWAY. ALSO SHE TALKS LIKE THE KEY-MASTAR OF GOZER, SO THE PCS SHOULD BE WTF???? IF UNTIE SHE COOP-ERATE FOR A COUPLE ROUNDS, THAN WHEN A BACK IS TURNED SHE STRIKES. ONE OF THE GUYS FROM #2A HAS A BONER FOR HER SO IF THEY ARE PART OF THE TEAM, HE WILL STICK CLOSE AND PROLBALY BE THE ONE THAT GETS JACKED. HER NATURAL FORM LOOKS LIKE A BIG YELLOW DIAREA THAT SQIRTS AROUND ON THE GROUND.She also has the ability to turn enemies temporarily transparent so she can copy their brains and therefore acquire any spells or psionic abilities they have.

6. Abandoned well. It's 4' wide and 70' down and from the bottom there's a secret passage that leads underground and up to a trap door in the floor under the "bed" in 3A. Unfortunately two things: first thing is it will collapse after its used for the first time (i.e. when you get to 3a) so you'll probably have to fight your way out through 3 and second thing is it is full of the body parts left over after various sacrifices. The body parts carry psychic resonance patterns from all the victims of all the terrible Carcosa business going on nearby. Pretty much narrate it so it's terrible walking through there but don't do anything really unless you enjoy psychic combat type mechanics way more than I do. Also the hands crawl around and grab people and like the eyes roll around and follow them, etc.

There's also a cultist (stats as Room 2 above) who fell down here when he was drunk. The PCs will just wake him up from being unconscious by climbing down so he's jumpy. He has a broken knee, is sitting in a pile of his own vomit, and has a tangle of slightly living thorns that he uses as a weapon--d6 damage per round until you Str your way out of it plus you can't move--in addition to the standard cultist gear. He is too hungover to negotiate with.

If you're feeling lazy you can have the passage lead to those stairs south of area 3a.

_________________________________

Ok, that's the adventure so far.

The next person to add to it will be chosen from the first eight comments in chronological order via a random d8 roll--so if you want to add something, sign up now.

That person, naturally, must repost this whole thing, add details and maybe new locations in a different color, and choose his/her successor.

(I rolled: it's Barry Blatt--and here it is ).

The Difficult Adventure

by Charles Bernstein*

originally published in Harper's Magazine June 2003, Volume 306, Issue 1837; ISSN:0017-789x

All of us from time to time encounter a difficult adventure. Sometimes it is the adventure of a friend or a family member, and sometimes it is an adventure we have written ourselves. The difficult adventure has created distress for both GMs and players for many years. Experts who study difficult adventures often trace the modem prevalence of this problem to the early years of the last century, when a great deal of social dislocation precipitated the outbreak of 1978, one of the best-known epidemics of difficult adventures.

But while these experts have offered detailed historical discussions of difficult adventures, and while there is a great deal of philosophical speculation and psychological theory about difficult adventures, there are few practical guides for handling difficult adventures. What I want to do in this essay is explore some ways to make your experience with the difficult adventure more rewarding by exploring some strategies for coping with these adventures.

You may be asking yourself, how did I get interested in this topic? Let me be frank about my situation. I am the author of, and a frequent player of, difficult adventures. Because of this, I have the strong desire to help other players and GMs with hard-to-play adventures. By sharing my experience of more than thirty years of working with difficult adventures, I think I can save you both time and heartache. I may even be able to convince you that some of the most difficult adventures you encounter can provide very enriching aesthetic experiences-if you understand how to approach them.

But first we must address the question-Are you playing a difficult adventure? How can you tell? Here is a handy checklist of five key questions that can help you to answer this question:

1. Do you find the adventure hard to survive?

2. Do you find the adventure's purpose or goal hard to understand?

3. Are there unexpected logistical, moral, or philosophical dilemmas brought up by the adventure?

4. Does the adventure make you feel inadequate or stupid as a player?

5. Is your imagination being affected by the adventure?

If you answered any of these questions in the affirmative, you are probably dealing with a difficult adventure. But if you are still unsure, look for the presence of any of these symptoms: high mortality, tactical, or intellectual activity level; elevated mood intensity; rules irregularities; initial withdrawal (adventure not immediately comprehensible); poor adaptability (adventure unsuitable for use at childrens' birthday parties, pick-up games with random hipsters, etc.); sensory overload; or negative mood.

Many players when they first encounter a difficult adventure say to themselves, "Why me?" The first reaction they often have is to think that this is an unusual problem that other players have not faced. So the first step in dealing with the difficult adventure is to recognize that this is a common problem that many other players confront on a daily basis. You are not alone!

The second reaction of many difficult-adventure players is self-blame. They ask themselves, "What am I doing to cause this adventure to be so difficult?" So the second step in dealing with the difficult adventure is to recognize that you are not responsible for the difficulty and that there are effective methods for responding to it without getting frustrated or angry.

The writers of difficult adventures face the same troubling questions as players, but for them the questions can be even more agitating. Often a GM will ask himself, if he is a man, or herself, if a woman (transgendered individuals also find themselves asking these questions): "Why did my adventure turn out like this? Why isn't it completely accessible like the adventures in the back of rulebooks, which never pose any problems for understanding?" Like players of difficult adventures, these writers of difficult adventures must first come to terms with the fact that theirs is a common problem, shared by many other GMs. And they must come to terms with the fact that it is not their fault that their adventures are harder to understand than the ones in the back of rulebooks, but that some adventures just turn out that way.

Difficult adventures are normal. They are not incoherent, meaningless, or hostile. Well meaning players may have suggested that "something must be wrong" with the adventure. So let's get a new perspective. "Difficult" is very different from abnormal. In today's climate, with an increasing number of adventures being labeled "difficult," this is an important distinction to keep in mind.

Difficult adventures are like this because of their innate makeup. And that makeup is their constructed style. They are not like this because of something you as players have done to them. It's not your fault.

Difficult adventures are hard to play. Of course you already know this, but if you keep it in mind, then you are able to regain your authority as a player. Don't let the adventure intimidate you! Often the difficult adventure will provoke you, but this may be its way of getting your attention. Sometimes, if you give your full attention to the adventure, the provocative behavior will stop.

Difficult adventures are not popular. This is something that any player or writer of difficult adventures must face squarely. There are no three ways about it. But just because an adventure is not popular doesn't mean it has no value! Unpopular adventures can still have meaningful readings and, after all, may not always be unpopular. Even if the adventure never becomes popular, it can still be special to you, the player. Maybe the adventure's unpopularity will even bring you and the difficult adventure closer. After all, your own ability to have an intimate relation with the adventure is not affected by the adventure's popularity.

Once you have gotten beyond the blame game-blaming yourself as a player for the difficulty or blaming the adventure-you can start to focus on the relationship. The difficulty you are having with the adventure may suggest that there is a problem not with you the player or with the adventure but with the relation between you and the adventure. Working through the issues that arise as part of this relation can be a valuable learning experience. Smoothing over difficulties is not the solution! Learning to cope with a difficult session of an adventure will often be more fulfilling than sweeping difficulties under the carpet, only to have the accumulated dust plume up in your face when you finally get around to cleaning the floor.

Players of difficult adventures also need to beware of the tendency to idealize the accessible adventure. Keep in mind that an adventure may be easy because it is not going anywhere. And while this may make for undisturbed playing at first, it may mask problems that will turn up later. No adventure is ever really difficulty-free. Sometimes working out your difficulties with the adventure is the best thing for a long-term aesthetic experience and opens up the possibilities for many future encounters with the adventure.

I hope that this approach to the difficult adventure will alleviate the frustration so many players feel when challenged by this type of aesthetic experience. Reading adventures, like other life experiences, is not always as simple as it may seem to be from the outside, as when we see other players flipping happily through collections of retired 20th level PCs. Very often this picture of playerly bliss is not the whole story; even these now-smiling players may have gone through difficult experiences with adventures when they first encountered them. As my mother would often say, you can't make bacon and eggs without slaughtering a pig.

_________

*I have made the following substitutions:

The word "poem" in the original essay has been turned into "adventure"

"Read" has been turned into "play"

"author" and "poet" into "GM"

"1912" into "1978"

Identifiers 1, 2, 3 and the paragraph after the list have been substantially altered.

"of billy collins" has been replaced with "in the back of rulebooks"

"saying anything" has become "going anywhere"

"best loved verse" has been replaced with "retired 20th level PCs"

The unaltered version is here.

Let's Play DMG Roulette!

Random page.

Type I DMG

Type IV DMG

3.5 DMG

"(A chapter about mining)

As Dungeon Master you will be interested in the subject of dungeon building for two reasons. Most important is the work will take place in various underground settings you devise for your players. Work will probably be in progress prior to their venturing into the labyrinth, during the course of their adventures therein, and even after they have moved on to some other project or task. Later, high level player characters will build their own strongholds, and they will desire some dungeon mazes thereunder."

"Gaining a level is the most significant reward the game has to offer, but even that reward has its own tidal rhythm. Characters gain new attack powers at odd-numbered levels, and they gan new feats, ability score increases, and global adjustments to all their attack and defenses at even-numbered levels. both are exciting, but they feel different." (Facing page: picture of leafhippie)

"Epic Ranger

Whether cunning protector of the wild or cold blooded hunter of the weak, the epic ranger is one with the wilderness, moving with deadly grace and keen mind through the natural world"

_______

Round one:

Rather than emphasize the differences between these passages (easy to do) instead I'm thinking about the similarities:

All these passages are fucking pointless

The first one is, at least, subjectively useless (and funny), while the last two are absolutely redundant. Why do they even make DMGs?

Round one to Gary.

Ok:

_________

"When the paladin reaches 4th or higher level, he or she will eventually call for a warhorse. It will magically appear, but not in actual physical form. The paladin will magically "see" his or her faithful destrier in whatever locale it is currently in, and it is therefore up to the paladin to journry to the place and gain the steed. As a rule, of thumb, this journey will not be beyond 7 days ride, and gaining the mount will not be an impossible task. The...(and then a bunch of adventure hooks)"

"The basic nature of puzzles--that they rely on player ability--is the reason that some people love puzzles in the game and some people dislike them. players who enjoy puzzles and are reasonably good at solving them generally like running into them in the course of an adventure. players who don't like puzzles, or who balk at the idea that a 25th-level wizard with a 26 Intelligence can't solve a simple number square, find puzzles an intrusion into the game. Looking at the motivations of your players (see Chapter 1), you'll find that puzzles engage some explorers and many thinkers, and they can grab a surprising number of watchers, but instigators, power gamers, and slayers quickly get impatient with them. If your group consists mostly of the latter types of players, it's best to steer away from puzzles."

(Related from the same DMG: "Some D&D adventures feature puzzles. Some DMs believe puzzles should test the characters, and see puzzles as a form of skill challenge. Others see puzzles as a challenge for the players, and welcome the variety and hands-on nature of puzzles that they can solve personally or as a group. Use puzzles as either sort of challenge in your game.")

Dust of Appearance

This fine powder appears to be a very fine, (one would assume) very light metallic dust. A single handful of this substance flung into the air coats objects within a 10-foot radius, making them visible even if they are invisible. It likewise negates the effects of blur and displacement. (In this, it works just like the faerie fire spell). The dust also reveals figments, mirror images, and projected images for what they are. A creature coated with the dust takes a -30 penalty on its Hide checks. The dust’s effect lasts for 5 minutes.

Dust of appearance is typically stored in small silk packets or hollow bone tubes.

Faint conjuration; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, glitterdust; Price 1,800 gp.

____________

These are all more interesting:

Gary gives us an adventure in a box, the 4e DMG talks about the central 4e issue (player skill vs character skill), and the 3.5 gives us an 1800 gp magic item that works exactly like a keg of baking soda. What a strange world.

I'm giving this round to the 4e DMG, for being straightforward.

_____________

If any cleric was more powerful than the renowned Dahlver-Nar, histories do not tell us. The gods themselves gave special powers to him, and these have passed on to others by means of the great relics of Dahvler-Nar, his teeth. Each of the Teeth has some power, and if one charcter manages to gain a full quarter, half, or all of them, other grand benefits accrue. In order to gain the power of one of these teeth, however, the character must place it into his or her mouth, where it will graft itself in the place of a like missing tooth. The teeth can never be removed once so emplaced, short of the demise of the possessor. Their powers/effects are:

If none of the characters in your 6thlevel party uses a long bow, don't put a 10thlevel longbow in your dungeon as treasure. A great way to make sure you give players magic items they'll be excited about is to ask them for wish lists. At the start of each level, have each player write down a list of three to five items that they are intrigued by that are no more than four levels above their own level. You can choose treasure from those lists (making sure to place an item from a different character's list each time), crossing the items off as the characters find them. If characters don't find things on their lists, they can purchase or enchant them when they reach sufficient level. Each set of ten treasure parcels includes one less magic item than there are characters in the party. That's not meant to be unfair, just to make sure that characters gain magic items at a manageable rate. Make sure that over the course of several levels of adventuring, you award items evenly to all the char acters, so that over the course of, say, five levels, every character has acquired four useful and exciting items.

______

Sometimes, however, players come to you and say that they like a certain class, but they want to change a single feature or two. Michele might want to play a ranger with no desire to obtain more than one favored enemy. She wants to play a beast-slayer, and her character hates dire wolves. She’s also interested in the paladin’s warhorse. You can decide, as a DM, that it’s acceptable to trade those ranger abilities for the paladin’s mount. In fact, you might decide that it’s not a fair trade, and that Michele’s character can have the detect evil ability as well. (She is, after all, giving up an ability usable at 1st level as well as one that comes into play later for one that she can’t achieve until 5th level.) Allowing a player to play the character she wants to play is always a desirable goal. Sure, sometimes it can’t be achieved--the player asks for too much, or what she wants doesn’t fit with your campaign--but the effort to accommodate reasonable modifications is almost always worth it.

______

Mmmmm...this round the 4e DMG definitely loses, but who wins? Magic teeth are cool, but the 3.5 DMG advice is solid and probably more often useful than the teeth which, being insanely powerful and possibly very silly, will only be as cool as they should be 10% of the time. Plus this totally sounds like something Michelle would actually do.

Round 3 to 3e...

____

Oh it's a 3way tie.

Tiebreaker round:

______

"While there might be as many as 25 or more prospective henchmen in the city of 25,000 cited above, the player character desirous of locating one or more for service must be able to reach the NPCs in order to let them know there is a henchman position available. In order to get this sort of information around, there are several methods which can be used singularly or in combination:" (and then a chart with costs and percentages)

"An artifact's concordance score measures the artifact's attitude toward its wielder. The scale ranges from 0 (angered) to 20 (pleased). When a character takes possession of an artifact, it starts with a concordance of 5. (The owner's race, class, or other characteristics might adjust this starting concordance.) Various actions and events increase or decrease this score as long as the character possesses the artifact. When the artifact is pleased with its wielder's actions, its concordance goes up. When the wielder acts contrary to the artifact's desires, its concordance decreases. The wielder knows of the factors that alter the concordance--it's in the artifact's best interests to communicate its desires and expectations. But keep the artifact's concordance score a secret, telling the player only if the artifact's powers or properties change. The player shouldn't ever know exactly how close the artifact is to changing its attitude."

"Obviously any stat block you create for your own use can be as sparse or as detailed as you need it to be. If all that relly matters for an encounter is a creature's hit points AC and attack bonus, then those are the only characteristics you need to make note of.

Use your own stat blocks to streamline the action during play by enabling you to have what you need at your fingertips--but don't feel that your stat blocks have to provide every single conceivable statistic for every creature (unless that's what you want them to do, of course)."

_______

Sorry AD&D DMG: nobody uses that system and even if they did, it's way too cheap and if you fail, then what? Go without? No. you have enough gp--you just do it again and cross off game weeks? Give me a Jeff Rients henchgenerator over that any day.

The 4e Concordance mechanic--you get more artifact powers the more you "agree" with you item--is a pretty good mechanic. Though, in general, artifacts don't (or shouldn't) come up that much, so if I give this one the round then I'd have to go back and give the Teeth of Dahlver Nar the round before...

Then the 3.5 comes in with totally dull but absolutely unarguable advice on statblocks that some people still at this late date have not gotten through their little pea-brained heads.

___________

Whereas if I just go for what's shiny and awesome then y'know, artifacts are cool and 4e and AD&D are tied...

Mmmm...does the 3.5 DMG wins this match with its Tortoise vs. Hare approach to DM advice?

Is there a 4e/AD&D tie?

Or do I just go back decide "Teeth of Dahlver Nar" is such a viscerally evocative name that it makes up for boring henchweeksearchbloat and just give it to Gary?

What a hopeless game.

Hunter/Hunted

So I was reading through a mostly very good supplement and I came upon the following paragraph in the DM advice...

"Be wary of plot construction that demands characters accept captivity to gain crucial information. Many players would sooner 
have their Investigators trepanned by the fungi from Yuggoth than accept even a brief sojourn in comparatively cushy confinement. Unfortunately, with this player type, you won’t get very far by pointing out that getting captured is a Pulp staple. Their attitude is rooted in a deep-seated desire to maintain emotional control, and is not typically susceptible to argument."

Ummm…what?

Players do not rebel at the idea of scenarios that "require them to accept captivity" because of some psychobabble.

They don't like it because, after the scenario starts, if there is any situation that they cannot get out of simply because the story demands that they not be able to get out of it (remember they are there "to gain crucial information" not "because they fucked up and logically would not be able to escape") then they are not actually playing the game for the length of time it takes to endure that situation.

It's like a cut-scene in a video game. Fine, have it, but don't make me press "talk" "talk" "talk" until the NPC dispenses the information.

This is why people don't like railroading. It isn't playing, it's listening to the GM tell a story, with maybe a little "Ok, when I say Free you say Bird" going on.

Now many players may like having the GM tell them a story, but it is not, strictly speaking, the activity many of them signed up for, so it is as much an interruption in an RPG as the GM stopping play to juggle for ten minutes. Hey guy, juggle, maybe I'll like it, but if I don't, it's understandable since I showed up to play, not watch you juggle.

This is followed by some not necessarily bad but frustratingly--and all-too-familiarly for GM-advice books--vague language about avoiding railroading…

--Structure can be difficult to achieve in the roleplaying medium. Guide the players too little and they lose the thread, resulting in a loose and sloppy narrative that provides none of the neat, order-making pleasure the genre is meant to provide. Guide them too much and they feel that their freedom of action has been taken away from them, and that they’re merely observers moving through a predetermined sequence of events. (As you probably know, this latter syndrome is known in roleplaying jargon as railroading.)

And then there is the typical cop-out…

--The trick to successfully running investigative scenarios is to strike the right balance between the two extremes.

No, the trick is not to balance. (Secret aesthetic law: balance is almost never the answer to anything.) The trick is to:

1) clearly define the term railroading for the GM, and then
2) provide the GM with tools to avoid it if s/he wants to.

So, how do you know if you're railroading?

Its a long fucking story, but basically it's easier to tell when you're not--here's how:

In a non-railroad the PCs are given choices that result in the PCs encountering substantially different (yet still interesting) scenarios than if they had made other choices--preferably scenarios they could potentially have seen the dim outline of while making those choices*. In a railroad, they are not.

In edge cases, it is best to ask yourself How different could this have worked out if the PCs had made different choices? The larger the difference the less of a railroad you got going on.

Anyway, there seems to be a popular myth that while yeah, it is easy to avoid railroading in a location-based D&D adventure, it's almost impossible to not do it a little in Call of Cthulhu or likewise horrorish scenarios and these things are really more about atmosphere and set-pieces anyway so why worry about that?

Well, honestly, if you're happy with that, cool beans and carry on.

If you are not, I am going to describe a very simple but effective way to totally not railroad people in a horror game (or really, any investigation-based game).

Note this is not the only way, but it is, like a dungeon or a sandbox, a simple, durable structure you can use that has meaningful choice built into it.

I call it Hunter/Hunted.

-The idea is simple and comes from about a million horror and cop stories: sometimes a scene happens because Sam Spade has found out about a baddie and sometimes a scene happens because the baddie has found out about Sam Spade. And, there, aside from a few stops for bourbon and kissing, is the plot of everything from Lost Boys to Blade Runner.

-Most investigative scenarios advise breaking things up into "scenes"--the idea is you have a scene, find clues in it, these clues lead to the next scene. They then usually cover their ass by saying either "if the PCs don't do this or find this clue or go to the wrong place give them a bunch of hints or a prophetic dream or otherwise nurse, nudge, or nullify them until they go to the next scene" or just give some vague advice like "hey Venice is interesting, think of something"

-Not so here. Or not exactly: Basically we keep the "scene chain" structure. If the PCs go from clue to clue in a timely fashion like good investigators they follow the scene chain. However, we also give each scene a twin situation, this twin is what happens if the PCs don't follow a given clue, follow it up the wrong path, or otherwise take too long (in-world game time) to follow the clues. In this twin situation, typically, the PCs have taken long enough to figure out what's going on that the enemy has noticed their efforts and started hunting them.

-In the twin situation, the GM decides how long it will take (in-world) and what circumstances are necessary for the enemy to be able to track the PCs and starts the clock running. The enemy then catches up with the PCs at whatever point it logically would if it was using whatever tracking abilities it has (whether this be psychic powers or enhanced smell or because Twitty says she saw Mac D talking to a cop next to the sub shop). The GM may drop clues as to their hunted status along the way.

-In situation 1, the PCs are investigators of horror or violence, in situation 2, they are victims of it. This matches rather nicely the twin roles nearly all horror and investigator protagonists have in these kinds of stories. So at each stage of the adventure you have an "i" version and a "v" version of each scenario.**

-The enemy has a locus: usually in physical space. Like: that island Cthulhu is under or the gangster's safe house.

-At each "Investigator" stage, you move closer to the locus (or finding out where it is). At each "Victim" stage, the enemy sends someone or something out from the locus to get you.

-IMPORTANT: Usually the enemy comes in a different form at each stage. You don't meet actually Cthulhu or actually Al Capone until the last stage. The first few stages feature their agents or otherwise indirect confrontations.

-Also important: at each stage, a clue is left. The clue leads to the "i" version of the next scenario.

-Example:

Opening: PCs are on their way to England on a boat to investigating the Proverbial Mysteriously Dead Uncle

1i--the nurse is clearly a disturbed woman (in the cafe) you don't know why
1v--terrifying dreams of faceless people (wherever you are) that might make you lash out at your fellow PCs (dream anagram of a doctor's name)

2i--the doctor's office is full of strange specimens (SAN check!) and tomes
2v--a(nother?) nurse is following you and attempting to drug you(wherever you are) (has distinctive uniform from a certain lab)

3i-the doctor's laboratory is filled with horrific creatures (and the doctor's in here)
3v-the doctor appears (wherever you are), a strange creature emerges from his featureless face (wherever you are) --a decent add on here is a chance that the doctor drugs a victim and drags him/her back to the lab or, if injured, runs back to the lab, leaving a blood trail. Either way the encounter at the lab--if it happens--is significantly different than if the PCs had just gone straight there and surprised the mofo

(this adventure brought to you by the lyrics to Sister Morphine)

-The "victim" role may seem passive, but in a sense the victim has more freedom than the investigator in terms of defining the terms of the conflict. Let's say we have the simplest scenario available--the PCs are being stalked by a werewolf. Even if the PCs are totally passive--they have the entire planet to walk around on. Will the werewolf attack them in a taxi, on a plane, in a hotel room, underwater? Depends entirely on where the PCs themselves go. You could even say to them: "The sun has gone down, according to what you've seen, the werewolf will be active within half an hour…". If the PC is in, say New York City, the number of resources s/he can bring to bear or changes s/he can make to the battlefield are infinite.

-Victim scenes require you to think like the monster: you are an insane doctor bent on injecting people with a "sacred" serum that makes their faces come off. You've discovered a flapper, a librarian and a drug addict are trying to interfere with your plans, What Do You Do? Where are you? What tools do you have access to? What information on them did they--via their actions to date--give you access to? Use it.

-In many adventures, there is no reason this system should not be transparent--making it clear through events and other characters that "it is vital to find Whatsitsnuts before it finds you".

--Broadly, any structure which has meaningful choice works like this: there are interesting choices leading to events, each event gives the players a unique resource or unique problem they did not have before--even if they all lead to the "same" place in the end, players end up there in the Final Chamber with different tools, perspectives, advantages or disadvantages.

-How do you avoid even the appearance of railroading? Just remind them how they got where they are. Go ahead and tell them where they'd be had they done otherwise.

-Another avoiding-railroading tip: include problems that are clear but open-ended, like: this puzzle requires you get us something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue and shove it in this slot. A real-module example is the "tooth door" in James Raggi's "Death Frost Doom"--you need to drop a tooth in a basin to open a certain door. Where you get the tooth from is your business, but the place is fairly isolated. There are a lot of graves around…but also a few other PCs…and that NPC down the mountain...

_____
*i.e. "left door or right door" is little better than a railroad, whereas "left door that, if listened at, reveals a chittering noise or totally silent right door" is definitely a non-railroad.

**Important clarification:

The Victim scenario is not nursing the PCs back on track by doing an ass-pull. In Hunter/Hunted the "Victim" scenarios are entirely logical, predictable-using-internal-gameworld consequences of the PC's failing to find the foe. i.e. if you don't show up at the safe house in 3 days, that's enough time for the goons to track YOU down. No alteration of the gameworld's internal logic or consequence chain is required. Pure cause-and-effect. the villain is not running into you by coincidence, it's because you dawdled and they managed to track you (thus the ticking clock).

Please Read These You Will Become Smarter

Just got off the plane and I am too busy basking in the tits and sunshine to clean up and post any of the things I've written up recently, however, out of respect for your need for regular injections of ludological wisdom I direct you to a recent post full of mad crazy insight:

Check it Combat as war vs. Combat as sport. The best--and least partisan--analysis of TSR D&D combat vs. WOTC D&D combat I have ever seen. Read it now or be forced to follow a link to it every time the issue comes up for the rest of your life. It's a classic on the level of Matt Finch's Old School Primer.

Bonus: (Noisms on how it isn't anybody's job to give you ninja opportunities)

Evolution

Idea....

The most commercially successful games all have a default answer to this question built in to the system:

How will play in this same campaign 8 months from now be fundamentally different than it is tonight?

In D&D the default answer is: you'll be levelled up by then, and this means something. You'll be fighting crazy godlike monsters and exploring planes instead of dungeons or be building castles. Here is the concrete evidence: the spells go up to level 9 and the monsters include like Tiamat and Demogorgon. Look, there it is, waiting for you...

In Rifts the answer is: you'll either be fucking with this Coalition that rules North America or you'll get to see some whole new continent full of more crazy robodemonborgs. Proof: look at these crazy splatbooks we keep putting out Japan, South America, Africa etc. Unlike D&D, your PC will not have changed that much, but you will be seeing new stuff, so keep on.

In Vampire: TM the default answer is: you'll be higher up in the convoluted Vampire hierarchy and/or you will be further along in the metaplot that you've noticed we keep publishing. See, it keeps coming out. Even though you will still be pretty much some bloodsucking badass like you already were, the story will have progressed to some new phase.

In Call of Cthulhu the default answer is: you'll be dead or insane. Or more insane. Or insane in some new way. Or you'll be surrounded by dead or insane friends. Anyway point is the situation will have become entertainingly more desperate.

In Warhammer the default answer is: you'll have a whole new (better, more badass) career and you may also be insane. Or mutated.

-Shadowrun: possible exception?

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Point is: every RPG session produces changes in that session. "Bangs" "assignments""plot developments""twists""occurrences" whatever.

The really successful games promise or suggest (though do not mandate) a specific kind of change will occur over the long haul.

This is like a barely perceptible carrot keeping the players interested session after session, even when they don't know it. The game is going somewhere.

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Notes for GMs:

-Not all level-up systems automatically produce this idea of change. In D&D, level 20 is not just level-1-but-more-powerful, it's practically a different game. You go through distinct phases (usually) in D&D: useless schmuck, badass hero, crazy godling loaded down with items. In other systems, levelling up just means you are kind of better--but the enemies are still the same relative to you.

-The game ending is not an expectation of change. In The Oddyssey the sailors expect to be done and not sailing any more when they finish. That's not what I'm talking about. If they thought in 4 months their boat would be flying and four months after that they'd be maybe going through time then that would be what I'm talking about.

-If you remove a game's built in "change engine" or it doesn't have one but you still want long-term campaign play then either: the players have to trust that the supply of new and crazy exciting ideas you are coming up with is basically infinite (which you may be able to guarantee but the system can't) or you have to create (or let the players create) a developing plot that intrigues the players and makes them want to see what's next.

-Example (thanks John): a D&D ranger guy who is doing a land survey, mapping uncharted territory. If the player thinks genuinely that the next territory will be new and interesting, that is an expectation of change over time. There you go.

Or: A Conan type trying to conquer stuff. If the player expects to conquer stuff and then the game ends, that isn't the expectation that'll keep tons of people interested. If the player expects to conquer stuff and then the game changes to where it's about armies and castles and new lands--that's a change over time.

Smart GMs seems to set up these expectations automatically--like Jeff Gameblog has a dungeon full of 1st-4th level PCs and he is already talking about the dragon in there and the wizard that built it and the possible portal to Hell in the lower depths.

This also may be why lite indie games have a reputation for being one-shotty. Unless the players (or GM, when there is one) makes up a specific change-over-time expectation, the games usually don't provide them on their own. (I have no quarrel with Noisms comment below about how this is often a feature and not a bug.)

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Now in the comments today we will inevitably meet someone who goes "Oh I played such-and-such for 80 years and nothing ever changed and my whole group loved it". That's great. We believe you. Pat pat.

Some Things Someone Should Point Out About A Possible New Edition

Note: none of this shit will make much sense unless you read this and maybe this and are aware that the company that currently makes D&D has announced it will be releasing a new edition which will theoretically make everybody happy.

If this is all greek to you, just assume this is one of those "inside baseball" posts and move on.

Anyway, just to prove it could be done, in the posts linked above, I wrote up some rules that should approach making players interested in any previous edition basically happy (or at least able to talk to each other) possible.

-Grumpy Grognards:

Even if you never intend to buy a 5th edition written the way I outlined, the beautiful thing is, if one of your players does and then makes a character in 5e--you can run that brand new PC through any classic TSR module and s/he'll still fit. It scales fine. Bone Hill, Castle Amber, whatever.

-Here's a key concept I encoded in these rules:

People who want 4th edition-style powers and 3.5-style feats get them not by making their PC more badass than an Old School simple no-customization PC, but by trading away the default advantages of leveling up as a basic PC.

Like in order to get Whirling Blade Of Knives once per day upon reaching level 4, you have to trade away something a fighter would expect to get upon reaching level 4, like a +1 to fortitude save or to hit.

This combined with the principle that "monsters don't get bonuses to shit they aren't actually good at just for being high level" (giants don't get a reflex bonus) as sketched out here should result in a balanced game. Or at least a balanceable version of the game. No sweat.

-The differences between the kinds of adventures people expect in old editions and in 4th ed differ wildly, but these differences actually stem from very minor changes in the actual rules. Like I said before: you change the numbers----> changing the numbers makes the game more predictable---->making the game more predictable changes the playstyle.

-Therefore, the actual points of friction between the games are probably less than most people think.

-Example: Old School PCs can fight Type IV monsters easy. Given enough hit points, you can totally run a battle of an Old School PC against a 4th edition monster and it makes perfect sense. It'd be like a 5th level PC vs. a 1st level monster but still. Once per battle, the monster can do something scary, it can shove the PC around the battlefield, it can do another scary thing once per day, etc. etc. This is, in essence not too different from how monsters already worked in D&D--remember the Fog Sloth may Cause Darkness 2/day etc. The difference between "saves" and "defenses" is basically cosmetic.

-Good question: If Classic players aren't using powers, where do we put the powers? I think it should be a boxed set: Player's book, GM book, Powers & Spells book. Many superhero games back in the boxed set era were sold like that. Having powers & spells in their own book also just sorta makes sense at the table, that way at the end of the session when the thief and the wizard both level up, the thief can look in the PHB to buy new stuff while the wizard's looking up spells.

Also, the core books would only have a basic array of powers. There would be a ton more powers in a Tournament Players Supplement. PLUS there should be a simple math algorithm to convert existing 4e powers to Tournament 5e powers. At least until Wizards publishes new versions of them.

-Another thing: clever use of different fonts and graphic design should make it so it's really easy to tell which parts of a page are relevant to you.

There is a surprisingly vocal Oh No There Might Be Something On The Page Not Relevant To My Own Personal Game brigade. These people are kind of the mirror image of the people who complained that although I provided optional 4e stats in Vornheim I didn't put in monster "roles", and they get the same smack down: If you can't tell a flailceratops is a "brute" you should not be DMing, likewise if it distracts you that the word "(brute)" appears next to the word "flailceratops" in a monster description, you shouldn't be DMing. How the hell did you manage to ignore "Psionics: Nil" and "Treasure Type" and "No. Appearing" all those years in the AD&D Monster Manual?

-Healing surges:

I like this Wolverine alternative for Heroic and Tournament modes--instead of just having a bank of healing surges, basically in these modes, do this:

*When you first take more damage than you have hp, you are considered to be just "out of the fight" for a bit and no matter how much damage you took (unless you were like disintegrated) you're just at 0 hp. Not negative yet. You can, however be killed if folks keep whaling on you down to negative level (Heroic) or negative level + con (Tournament)

*Each round you can make a Con check. Success indicates you got 1 hp back.

*You have a choice then--spring up with your 1 hp and attack, or play possum, keep rolling, and pop up Wolverine-style after everyone's forgotten about you.

*However, as long as you play possum, you are still vulnerable to a death blow.

This makes healing a little easier to narrate plus adds a level of tactical complexity to using healing.

-Minions. In 4e you have dudes called "minions" who can be killed with one hit. Just change that to a rule that Tournament PCs can kill anything with one HD with one hit. Problem solved.

-If Tournament PCs start at 3rd level and Classic PCs start at 1st, how do tournament PCs fight goblins? Easy: 4e already constantly uses multiple versions of monsters--it already supports wimpy minion and dangerous levelled versions of the same monster.

-How will monster HD look in the Manual? Do this:

Ogre

4hd/38 hp

(Classic gamers use the first number, Heroic and Tournament use the second. 3.5 manuals already look like that).

(That 40 hp figure, by the way is derived from: 9hp per every 2 dice plus a +5 con bonus per die. Though you could do it however.)

-Saving throws are cake. Using an old product with a different saving throw regime than what you're using is pretty easy. Old editions reference a save table, you can just ignore that and use the new numbers whenever a monster appears. No matter what edition you are using, you can get a plausible Save DC for a spell by doing 10+caster level+caster int bonus. i.e. you can take a wizard or demon from a TSR module and have him cast a spell on a 3.5 style PC and the chance to avoid the spell would still make sense.

-What would a Monster Manual statblock look like?

Ogre (Brute)

AC: 16 (15 flat footed)

Hit points: 4hd/38 hp (bloodied 19)

Atk: +4 (to hit) 1d10+4 damage

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(An experienced DM in any edition could stop here, and this is the amount of detail I recommend for passing references in modules--the rest of this info would go at the back of a module or in the margin)...

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Fort: + 6

Reflex: - 2

Will: - 5

Level: 3

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(That's all the Classic DM needs)(at most)(there would be a line or a color change in the text at this point to signify that the basics are over)

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Dupe:-3

Notice: -1

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(Classic DMs might want to use Dupe (charisma and wisdom based) and Notice (wisdom and int based) modifiers even though they have no direct equivalent in older D&D. I know I would, but that's probably because I kinda invented them.

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Intiative: -2

Speed: 60'/round/6 squares

S: 19 D: 7 C:19 I: 6 W: 6 Ch: 4

+1 track +2 climb (any other skills an ogre might have)

(plus all the other crunch in a 3.5 statblock here)

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(That's all a Heroic DM needs, unless s/he wants to use powers)

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Then here is a pair of powers that can be traded out for a -1 to hit or damage minus each:

*Grab And Bite: 1/encounter. Successful hit on adjacent size M or smaller opponent inflicts d4 damage for a grab, then d10 for a bite and the opponent is considered grappled the next round.

*Toss: at-will. Successful hit knocks Size M opponent up to 40 feet/4squares doing 3d6 damage.

-Giving levels to a monster is easy under the system I've sketched out, by the way, a 9th level fighter bugbear could just add +9 to hit and +9 to damage and bam, there you go.

-4e's Action Points (which do mix things up a bit) can stay for Tournament PCs. And go for everybody else. In a Tournament fight you get them, in a different fight you don't

-"Classic PCs can, on a successful check, execute a combat maneuver, however, it should be noted that doing the same trick over and over is considered bad form."

-How does this benefit Classic edition players? Two ways:

*WOTC should be able to start publishing materials useful to them (and modules that are useful to more than one playstyle simultaneously) and

*by establishing a common language, DMs of different styles will be able to talk to each other more easily. Oh I run Heroic and I find... etc etc

-XP scheme the same as i wrote before:

Classic: XP is given for monsters and treasure. Treasure usually nets about 4 times as much xp as monsters required to get to said treasure.

Heroic: XP is given for monsters plus each PC picks what kind of thing they want to get xp for based on their PCs' individual motives. Like: "My wizard wants knowledge,""My paladin wants to help the weak" etc. The GM can award these as s/he sees fit but the total can still be divided equally if the PCs roll that way--so if everybody helps one PC achieve a goal, they all benefit

Tournament: XP for monsters at x5 normal.

-Switching styles: if the DM (or PCs) in a Tournament game would like to do a "quick combat" (initiative by side, no action points) then vote.