So I noticed this phenomenon:
Girls would, spontaneously, while watching a movie say something like "I'd fuck Tony Stark. Not Robert Downey Jr. but Tony Stark."
"Like the comic book character?"
"No, like Robert-Downey-Jr-As-Tony-Stark-If He-Looked-And-Acted-Like-RDJ-Does-In-The-Movie but not the actor and not the guy in the comics."
I heard this more than once. Spontaneously (without prompting) from women.
So I asked around. After about an hour on the internet, (twitter, facebook, etc.) I got these responses from women:
Magnum PI but not Tom Selleck
Dirk Diggler but not Mark
Frodo but not Elijah
Lestat but not Cruise
Venkman but not Bill Murray
Arthur in Inception but not whoever
10th Doctor but not whoever
Castor Troy but not Cage
Cyrus the Virus but not whoever
Joker but not Ledger
Tyler Durden (twice)
Gyllenhall but NOT Donnie Darko (A reverse example, but those work, too)
Cal from 40 yr old virgin.
Han Solo but not Harrison Ford
Bruce Wayne but not Christian Bale (three times)
Patrick Jane but not Simon Baker
Seymour from Ghost World but not Buscemi
"All sexy vampires but not the actors who play them" (twice)
Spiderman but not Toby McGuire
Now while by no means an entirely scientific experiment, I would say this is a fairly decent control/variable situation. Same body, same face, different personality and style, remarkably (literally: from "remarkable" as in "worth remarking upon") different levels of sexual interest from women. These are some good-looking men (as I understand the concept), but apparently only sexy to a given woman if they act a certain way.
(Counter-possibility: all responding women just hate actors. I know that in the case of all the respondents I know personally, this isn't true.)
So, question:
Guys--are there female characters you'd have sex with but not the actresses who played them (at the time?). For me? No. I probably like Catwoman more than Michelle Pfeiffer circa 1990, but I wouldn't kick her out of bed. You? Would you do Barbarella but kick Jane Fonda circa 1968 out of bed? (Or the other way around?) Let's hear it.
And ladies, if you would like to add to the data (or contradict it), go right ahead.
_______
Pen-and-paper-game-designer-relevant hypothesis:
A) An economically significant majority of women are attracted to sexy characters. i.e. Attractive bodies and faces attached some sort of personality or style to indicate the direction or kind of thing to expect from that guy. If you would like to include sexualized males in your game so as to capture this market, be aware, in the artwork or the fluff, of the indications of what kind of guy they are you are giving.
B) An economically significant majority of men are attracted to sexy pictures. Period. i.e. Attractive bodies and faces. Based on what I've seen, I think the industry probably already knows what to do with that data.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Greg Christopher I Would Genuinely Like To Understand What You Are Trying To Say
So people are talking about sexism in games.
Some of it makes sense to me, some of it doesn't.
But it's really important.
And: I want to understand the point of view of seemingly intelligent, responsible people who are saying things that do not make sense to me. I don't want to debate to prove I'm right, I want to understand things I do not yet understand.
So: Greg Christopher, I am inviting you to come here and explain what you think. And, if you like, vice versa.
HERE ARE THE RULES, THE ONLY RULES:
-If the other guy asks a question, you have to answer. No rhetorical questions, no grandstanding, no "I can't believe you would ask that question", no bullshit joke answers for the crowd, no "oh come on, you know the answer to that." You answer the question, you answer seriously and succinctly. Then you wait for the next question and/or ask one of your own.
-Beyond that, you try not to make any other statements (so do I). This is hard (and asking a question often involves making a statement), but the point is to understand that which is not understood. If you feel the question is leading or unfair, you can clarify, but basically this is not a debate this is an attempt to understand where the real, base-level differences are between whatever you think is the way for male human beings to fight sexism is and what the way I think the way for male human beings to fight sexism is.
-I erase any interjections from everybody else.
Lemme know.
-Zak
Addendum:
Alright: Here we go.
___
Obvious question: Why are 2 guys discussing this?
Answer: I haven't read any women saying anything as confusing as what I've read Greg saying. I repeat for the stupid: Every single woman I have ever read or heard anything from on this topic has been capable of making her position easily understood. I want to understand Greg's point of view because it is unclear. That's why I'm doing this. Not to get some specific actions or recommendations or collect data, but to understand what an actual other human being thinks. I do that other stuff on here, too, once in a while. Not today though.
Some of it makes sense to me, some of it doesn't.
But it's really important.
And: I want to understand the point of view of seemingly intelligent, responsible people who are saying things that do not make sense to me. I don't want to debate to prove I'm right, I want to understand things I do not yet understand.
So: Greg Christopher, I am inviting you to come here and explain what you think. And, if you like, vice versa.
HERE ARE THE RULES, THE ONLY RULES:
-If the other guy asks a question, you have to answer. No rhetorical questions, no grandstanding, no "I can't believe you would ask that question", no bullshit joke answers for the crowd, no "oh come on, you know the answer to that." You answer the question, you answer seriously and succinctly. Then you wait for the next question and/or ask one of your own.
-Beyond that, you try not to make any other statements (so do I). This is hard (and asking a question often involves making a statement), but the point is to understand that which is not understood. If you feel the question is leading or unfair, you can clarify, but basically this is not a debate this is an attempt to understand where the real, base-level differences are between whatever you think is the way for male human beings to fight sexism is and what the way I think the way for male human beings to fight sexism is.
-I erase any interjections from everybody else.
Lemme know.
-Zak
Addendum:
Alright: Here we go.
___
Obvious question: Why are 2 guys discussing this?
Answer: I haven't read any women saying anything as confusing as what I've read Greg saying. I repeat for the stupid: Every single woman I have ever read or heard anything from on this topic has been capable of making her position easily understood. I want to understand Greg's point of view because it is unclear. That's why I'm doing this. Not to get some specific actions or recommendations or collect data, but to understand what an actual other human being thinks. I do that other stuff on here, too, once in a while. Not today though.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
In My Limited Experience
Never played with That Guy. Never saw his trenchcoat.
Never been to a con.
Never ran a game for strangers.
Never knew who the 'jocks' were in high school, never knew who the 'nerds' were.
Never got called a nerd.
Never had a crush on a cheerleader, or knew anyone who did. Never lived in a suburb, never borrowed dad's car, never had a car.
Never got locked in a locker.
Never said 'pwned'. Never knew anyone who said 'pwned'.
Never read a genre novel written after 1980.
Never played WoW.
Never called anyone 'bro'.
Never had a munchkin.
Never told a girl she couldn't play. Never saw anyone tell a girl she couldn't play.
Never played with anybody who called anything they thought was lame 'gay', except Kimberly Kane, who fucks girls and likes watching guys make out with each other.
Never got static from a girl about liking girls. (Or painting them naked. Or fucking them for money.)
I've known one rules-lawyer and she's my girlfriend.
Never read Penny Arcade, Order of the Stick, and whatever that comic is that's in Hackmaster.
Never saw Firefly or Serenity or the new Battlestar Galactica or Buffy.
Never argued about Kirk V. Picard or saw anyone do it.
Never willingly had an extended conversation with someone who acted like Comic Book Guy.
Never knew a grown-up who lived in his mom's basement.
Never thought only assholes played paladins.
Don't know what this 'I cast magic missile at the darkness' thing is about.
Never waited for a video game to come out.
Never got obsessive about a first-person shooter.
Never knew what day of the week my comic books were supposed to ship.
Never played a game with a skinny Peter-Parker-looking guy with glasses.
Never played a game with big fat guys with beards, except once, for charity. They were nice and didn't smell like anything.
I live in a big city. I always have. Once in a while I pull out a game and play it with my friends. They're all artists and sex industry people. When I was a kid they were all kids and they acted like kids.
When I hear people talk about 'the gaming community', it sounds like an insane towel-snapping locker room circus full of people nothing like anyone I've ever willingly spent time with in real life or ever will meet in real life who live in a Cheeto-strewn country called 'the internet'. I don't feel connected to them or disconnected from them or responsible for them or to them. Whatever. It's like seeing all that red on the map every November 2nd. Those people are also Americans? Huh, who knew?
I'm sure they exist. I just don't feel like they have some special significance to me just because we both own dice that aren't part of a Monopoly set. I'd be surprised if a lot of the people reading this didn't feel exactly the same way.
Never been to a con.
Never ran a game for strangers.
Never knew who the 'jocks' were in high school, never knew who the 'nerds' were.
Never got called a nerd.
Never had a crush on a cheerleader, or knew anyone who did. Never lived in a suburb, never borrowed dad's car, never had a car.
Never got locked in a locker.
Never said 'pwned'. Never knew anyone who said 'pwned'.
Never read a genre novel written after 1980.
Never played WoW.
Never called anyone 'bro'.
Never had a munchkin.
Never told a girl she couldn't play. Never saw anyone tell a girl she couldn't play.
Never played with anybody who called anything they thought was lame 'gay', except Kimberly Kane, who fucks girls and likes watching guys make out with each other.
Never got static from a girl about liking girls. (Or painting them naked. Or fucking them for money.)
I've known one rules-lawyer and she's my girlfriend.
Never read Penny Arcade, Order of the Stick, and whatever that comic is that's in Hackmaster.
Never saw Firefly or Serenity or the new Battlestar Galactica or Buffy.
Never argued about Kirk V. Picard or saw anyone do it.
Never willingly had an extended conversation with someone who acted like Comic Book Guy.
Never knew a grown-up who lived in his mom's basement.
Never thought only assholes played paladins.
Don't know what this 'I cast magic missile at the darkness' thing is about.
Never waited for a video game to come out.
Never got obsessive about a first-person shooter.
Never knew what day of the week my comic books were supposed to ship.
Never played a game with a skinny Peter-Parker-looking guy with glasses.
Never played a game with big fat guys with beards, except once, for charity. They were nice and didn't smell like anything.
I live in a big city. I always have. Once in a while I pull out a game and play it with my friends. They're all artists and sex industry people. When I was a kid they were all kids and they acted like kids.
When I hear people talk about 'the gaming community', it sounds like an insane towel-snapping locker room circus full of people nothing like anyone I've ever willingly spent time with in real life or ever will meet in real life who live in a Cheeto-strewn country called 'the internet'. I don't feel connected to them or disconnected from them or responsible for them or to them. Whatever. It's like seeing all that red on the map every November 2nd. Those people are also Americans? Huh, who knew?
I'm sure they exist. I just don't feel like they have some special significance to me just because we both own dice that aren't part of a Monopoly set. I'd be surprised if a lot of the people reading this didn't feel exactly the same way.
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Productive Exchange Of Ideas
Another quicky, another one where it'd be nice to hear from y'all:
All of this is pointless and stupid unless it actually gets used in games. So let's hear about it:
1. What's something you've read on somebody's gameblog that you actually used in a game?
2. And how did it go?
If it's something I wrote, I'd love to hear about it here, for playtesting reasons if for no other, but I'd like to hear about other people, too, and I'm sure everybody reading would, too...
_____
Oh and P.S.
If you've used someone's idea in a game, tell them, too. I'm sure they'd be jazzed to hear about it, and how it went.
All of this is pointless and stupid unless it actually gets used in games. So let's hear about it:
1. What's something you've read on somebody's gameblog that you actually used in a game?
2. And how did it go?
If it's something I wrote, I'd love to hear about it here, for playtesting reasons if for no other, but I'd like to hear about other people, too, and I'm sure everybody reading would, too...
_____
Oh and P.S.
If you've used someone's idea in a game, tell them, too. I'm sure they'd be jazzed to hear about it, and how it went.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
DIY RPG Blog Sampler
Do you have an RPG blog? Are you like: Fuck yeah, it's amazing and everyone should read it! Are you like: Hey, maybe take a look, it's not bad and I kind of like my in-depth analysis of F9--Isle of the Wrecking Porpoise...Well, either way, here's your chance.
Leave a comment with three sentences quoted directly from entries on your blog. They do not all have to be from the same entry. Then put your blog URL.
People can go here and read all the stuff, so you have a chance to try to pique their interest and show what your blog's all about...
I will keep this page accessible by putting a permalink to it over on the right above "greatest hits".
Saturday, February 5, 2011
DIY Consumer Bill of Rights
Congratulations, you are a consumer of Products of DIY Culture. You like something obscure, niche, handmade, homemade, or simply very very particular. Certain kinds of music, movies, pictures or, yes, even games.
Maybe this is because you are smarter than other people and new mainstream products just makes you think of nonmainstream products or old products or something you thought up yourself that does the same thing better, or maybe this is because you have been consuming products for so long you've slowly become jaded and tired of the "gateway" products, or maybe it's just because you're a pretentious, insecure asshole who uses your interest in something out-of-the-way as exhibit A for the defense in the court case you're constantly running in your head where you accuse yourself of maybe being too much like everybody else. Whichever it is, you are entitled to certain rights. Here they are:
-You have the right to assume most people are stupid. They are.
-You do not have the right to assume most people are stupid merely because they don't like your product of choice. There are a lot of different kinds of smart, and only a few of them require thinking whatever you think is fun actually is. I'm real glad my doctor spent all that time in medical school learning about where my pancreas was rather than painting, and when I pay him immediately and in cash, he's probably real glad I learned to paint.
-You have the right to access the product you wish to consume. You have the right to form communities dedicated to helping you access and/or retrieve such products. If you haven't found one yet, you have the right to form your own.
-You do not have the right to demand easy access to your product of choice at all possible consumer-interfaces with the medium wherein your product-of-choice manifests unless you are willing to help destroy the current economic system and replace it with something else. Why doesn't WhateverFuckingStore.com sell WhateverFuckingThingYou'reAllExcitedAbout: Advanced Edition? They don't sell your thing because they don't know if it'll make them any money. Myriad opinions on how to smash model-2011 capitalism and whether that's actually a good idea or not are available elsewhere on the web. You are, however, allowed to say "If you don't got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin'."
-You do have the right to suggest that maybe the consumer outlet of your choice could simultaneously fulfill the twin goals of making you happy and making them money by providing access to products amenable to discerning connoisseurs like yourself.
-You do not have the right to assume you're right about that. At least not until they try it.
-You do have the right to point out that maybe, aside from the monetary rewards, they might also garner less tangible but more important benefits like helping to build a vibrant on-line or in-real-life community by cultivating a more sophisticated-and-therefore-probably-more-dedicated-and-participatory customer base.
-You do not have the right to assume they should give a fuck about that.
-You do have the right to call them greedy fucks if they don't.
-You do not have the right to call their freelancers and employees greedy fucks if they don't. Do you take responsibility for the actions of every boss you ever had?
-You do have the right to speculate on what kind of people would be interested in the thing you are not interested in.
-You do not have the right to assume you're right about that.
-You do have the right to ask around about that.
-You do not have the right to assume someone's lying if you hear an answer that doesn't fit your thesis.
-You do have a right to talk about why you don't like Very Popular Products That Don't Fit Your Idea Of A Good Time.
-You do not have a right to bore everybody with that.
-You do have the right to create or promote a product that remedies the perceived deficiencies in said product.
-You do not have the right to assume your solution to the Problem of the Very Popular Product will satisfy other connoisseurs complaints with said Very Popular Product. You are united by your dissatisfaction with the Popular Product, not by your agreement about what the solution is. If you were, you wouldn't be the special-little-snowflakes-in-search-of-an-experience-that-fits-you-like-a-glove that you are. You hate vanilla because it isn't strawberry, she hates it because it isn't chocolate. Your unity-of-purpose will only last so long as neither strawberry nor chocolate wins, so if you want unity, build it on something else, like a unity-of-belief-in-creative-experimentation or a Neapolitan Pact.
-You do have the right to demand Nice Things. Great achievements in art and culture have come from every conceivable point of view. If you need a characterization-heavy rpg where you play stretches of plumbing pipe enmeshed in a psychologically-tense soap-opera-plot powered by a water-balloon-tossing resolution engine that's actually good then you have every right to demand it.
-You do not have the right to demand Fancy Things. You are smarter than average or more experienced than average or just more picky than average, therefore accept that it would be commercial suicide for some fancy motherfucker who makes fancy shit hoping to sell something with mass appeal to pitch their product at you, especially when there are so many goddamn average people out their to prey on. Average people will buy just about anything because--hey, have you rolled you a character with Int 10 lately? Not pretty.
And if there were a Fancy Thing for Discerning Consumers you probably wouldn't buy it. Why? Because you can probably figure out how to get whatever it's offering cheaper. Because you're smart, or experienced, or well-connected and/or you--unlike normal people--pride yourself on not being gullible enough to buy shit just because it looks fancy. Point is, being picky puts you on the far edge of capitalism's bulls-eye. Get used to that.
-You do have the right to demand that people who make Things With Mass Appeal That Little Kids See All The Time have some social responsibility. They shouldn't make Wonder Woman into a guy, and they shouldn't make Storm white. With great market share comes great responsibility. I mean, if you're not going to make anything good and you're having all your shit printed for 10 cents an hour overseas the least we can do is let you deal with the parents you're fucking with on your own. It's that or the revolution.
-You don't have the right to demand that people who make Things With Mass Appeal That Little Kids See All The Time be any good. These things will probably suck because they are aimed at a mass audience. Again: change the whole world economic system or live with it and be happy when, once in a while, you get Adventure Time or Justice League.
-You do not have the right to demand people who make DIY products have some social responsibility. They are making something that is for them and people like them and we have to give them the benefit of the doubt that whatever they're making is the way it is for specific creative reasons and they need to be given a little room to come up with something new. Plus, seriously, nobody's fucking listening to them anyway.
-You do, however, have the right to demand the people who make DIY products make things that are good. That is the price they pay for their freedom: they must put in a real and genuine effort without hiding behind the excuse of what will or won't sell, or their creative license is revoked. They need to provide the maximum possible value for money in whatever direction they're heading (even if it's a direction you'd prefer they didn't go) or get the fuck out.
-You do not have the right to bleat about somebody else's DIY product merely on the grounds that it's designed for people who aren't like you. If you want to complain about something, complain that people who aren't like you exist at all. How far that'll get you in life depends on what direction you're going and whether or not you like sleeping with those people.
-So: if your excuse for doing things that piss people off is money, you have to accept that you need to Think of The Children once in a while, fatcat. If your excuse is creative freedom, then you have to always make the best thing.
________
Joesky's Rule Compliance Addendum:
Slow demon
This demon has the body of a beautiful naked woman.* It has the face of a big fucking leech. Its trick is to make you fall in love with it, then it eats your face. Resistance to its charm is inversely proportional to how upstanding your character is. Paladins save at like -9.
____________
*Is there a non heteronormative version? Maybe if I ever figure out what a hot RPG guy looks like.
Maybe this is because you are smarter than other people and new mainstream products just makes you think of nonmainstream products or old products or something you thought up yourself that does the same thing better, or maybe this is because you have been consuming products for so long you've slowly become jaded and tired of the "gateway" products, or maybe it's just because you're a pretentious, insecure asshole who uses your interest in something out-of-the-way as exhibit A for the defense in the court case you're constantly running in your head where you accuse yourself of maybe being too much like everybody else. Whichever it is, you are entitled to certain rights. Here they are:
-You have the right to assume most people are stupid. They are.
-You do not have the right to assume most people are stupid merely because they don't like your product of choice. There are a lot of different kinds of smart, and only a few of them require thinking whatever you think is fun actually is. I'm real glad my doctor spent all that time in medical school learning about where my pancreas was rather than painting, and when I pay him immediately and in cash, he's probably real glad I learned to paint.
-You have the right to access the product you wish to consume. You have the right to form communities dedicated to helping you access and/or retrieve such products. If you haven't found one yet, you have the right to form your own.
-You do not have the right to demand easy access to your product of choice at all possible consumer-interfaces with the medium wherein your product-of-choice manifests unless you are willing to help destroy the current economic system and replace it with something else. Why doesn't WhateverFuckingStore.com sell WhateverFuckingThingYou'reAllExcitedAbout: Advanced Edition? They don't sell your thing because they don't know if it'll make them any money. Myriad opinions on how to smash model-2011 capitalism and whether that's actually a good idea or not are available elsewhere on the web. You are, however, allowed to say "If you don't got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin'."
-You do have the right to suggest that maybe the consumer outlet of your choice could simultaneously fulfill the twin goals of making you happy and making them money by providing access to products amenable to discerning connoisseurs like yourself.
-You do not have the right to assume you're right about that. At least not until they try it.
-You do have the right to point out that maybe, aside from the monetary rewards, they might also garner less tangible but more important benefits like helping to build a vibrant on-line or in-real-life community by cultivating a more sophisticated-and-therefore-probably-more-dedicated-and-participatory customer base.
-You do not have the right to assume they should give a fuck about that.
-You do have the right to call them greedy fucks if they don't.
-You do not have the right to call their freelancers and employees greedy fucks if they don't. Do you take responsibility for the actions of every boss you ever had?
-You do have the right to speculate on what kind of people would be interested in the thing you are not interested in.
-You do not have the right to assume you're right about that.
-You do have the right to ask around about that.
-You do not have the right to assume someone's lying if you hear an answer that doesn't fit your thesis.
-You do have a right to talk about why you don't like Very Popular Products That Don't Fit Your Idea Of A Good Time.
-You do not have a right to bore everybody with that.
-You do have the right to create or promote a product that remedies the perceived deficiencies in said product.
-You do not have the right to assume your solution to the Problem of the Very Popular Product will satisfy other connoisseurs complaints with said Very Popular Product. You are united by your dissatisfaction with the Popular Product, not by your agreement about what the solution is. If you were, you wouldn't be the special-little-snowflakes-in-search-of-an-experience-that-fits-you-like-a-glove that you are. You hate vanilla because it isn't strawberry, she hates it because it isn't chocolate. Your unity-of-purpose will only last so long as neither strawberry nor chocolate wins, so if you want unity, build it on something else, like a unity-of-belief-in-creative-experimentation or a Neapolitan Pact.
-You do have the right to demand Nice Things. Great achievements in art and culture have come from every conceivable point of view. If you need a characterization-heavy rpg where you play stretches of plumbing pipe enmeshed in a psychologically-tense soap-opera-plot powered by a water-balloon-tossing resolution engine that's actually good then you have every right to demand it.
-You do not have the right to demand Fancy Things. You are smarter than average or more experienced than average or just more picky than average, therefore accept that it would be commercial suicide for some fancy motherfucker who makes fancy shit hoping to sell something with mass appeal to pitch their product at you, especially when there are so many goddamn average people out their to prey on. Average people will buy just about anything because--hey, have you rolled you a character with Int 10 lately? Not pretty.
And if there were a Fancy Thing for Discerning Consumers you probably wouldn't buy it. Why? Because you can probably figure out how to get whatever it's offering cheaper. Because you're smart, or experienced, or well-connected and/or you--unlike normal people--pride yourself on not being gullible enough to buy shit just because it looks fancy. Point is, being picky puts you on the far edge of capitalism's bulls-eye. Get used to that.
-You do have the right to demand that people who make Things With Mass Appeal That Little Kids See All The Time have some social responsibility. They shouldn't make Wonder Woman into a guy, and they shouldn't make Storm white. With great market share comes great responsibility. I mean, if you're not going to make anything good and you're having all your shit printed for 10 cents an hour overseas the least we can do is let you deal with the parents you're fucking with on your own. It's that or the revolution.
-You don't have the right to demand that people who make Things With Mass Appeal That Little Kids See All The Time be any good. These things will probably suck because they are aimed at a mass audience. Again: change the whole world economic system or live with it and be happy when, once in a while, you get Adventure Time or Justice League.
-You do not have the right to demand people who make DIY products have some social responsibility. They are making something that is for them and people like them and we have to give them the benefit of the doubt that whatever they're making is the way it is for specific creative reasons and they need to be given a little room to come up with something new. Plus, seriously, nobody's fucking listening to them anyway.
-You do, however, have the right to demand the people who make DIY products make things that are good. That is the price they pay for their freedom: they must put in a real and genuine effort without hiding behind the excuse of what will or won't sell, or their creative license is revoked. They need to provide the maximum possible value for money in whatever direction they're heading (even if it's a direction you'd prefer they didn't go) or get the fuck out.
-You do not have the right to bleat about somebody else's DIY product merely on the grounds that it's designed for people who aren't like you. If you want to complain about something, complain that people who aren't like you exist at all. How far that'll get you in life depends on what direction you're going and whether or not you like sleeping with those people.
-So: if your excuse for doing things that piss people off is money, you have to accept that you need to Think of The Children once in a while, fatcat. If your excuse is creative freedom, then you have to always make the best thing.
________
Joesky's Rule Compliance Addendum:
Slow demon
This demon has the body of a beautiful naked woman.* It has the face of a big fucking leech. Its trick is to make you fall in love with it, then it eats your face. Resistance to its charm is inversely proportional to how upstanding your character is. Paladins save at like -9.
____________
*Is there a non heteronormative version? Maybe if I ever figure out what a hot RPG guy looks like.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
D&D Ideas Stolen Or Derived From Whatever Comic Books Were In Reach When I Wrote This Blog Entry
-Crisis On Infinite Earths: Hey look it's Negative Woman.
Ok, so you fall unconscious and a Negative Spirit that has your stats but in reverse appears. To whatever degree a stat is above the norm, it is now below, and vice versa. It is also the "opposite" class: meaning whatever you're worst at (and consequently whatever it is best at) is it's prime requisite and it's a member of the corresponding class. So if your wisdom sucks, it's a cleric. You may control this being as if it's your PC but it lasts for a set amount of time, like a day, and you can't do anything about it. This is a spell, or a thing in an item.
-This isn't a comic book, it's a Hobby Japan catalogue. But it has Ultraman monsters.
This spell allows you to create giant monsters. Material components are two animals. The animals get combined into one creature then grow to the size of an elephant.
-Hellboy: The Troll Witch And Others. There's someone talking about eating worms.
Adventure idea: mad, decadent king demands mad decadent feast be prepared: unicorn toes dipped in giant squid ink, spidergoat eyes in whalefat, all that. PCs are hired by chefs to hunt down ingredients.
-Sgt. Fury & His Howling Commandos.
Fuck these yokels. NEXT...
-Ironwolf: Fires of the Revolution. Ok, so the Omicronese (I think) shut off all the Secret Police's high-tech zappers using some...thing...
Anyway, point us there's an item, or a place, that shuts off all _____ in the campaign. Familiars? Magic rings? Undead? Something that shows up a lot in the campaign and seems maybe more useful and/or common than it oughtta be. Or that the villains have in spades (but the heroes have enough of them that there's some cost-benefit analysis, like, say, it renders magical writing illegible for 8 days or a month or something.)
-Another Hobby Japan catalogue. It's a remote-control car.
You thought that all you had to defeat the rampaging sea-serpent/golem/elemental was to slay the mad wizard controlling it but actually it's the other way around.
-Blue Beetle: Endgame
There's a giant beetle. It's blue. It's eyes are yellow domes. They are full of smaller beetles. You have to kill it without cracking open the eyes because, when exposed to oxygen the little beetles get big.
-Scud: The Disposable Assassin
Curse: PCs must seek out and slay a worthy foe every day or die of spiritual starvation. Each foe must be more fearful than the last.
-Wolverine: Civil War
The guy the PCs are looking for is at the bottom of the sea.
-JLA: A World Without Grown-Ups
Annoying kid-versions of the PCs show up.
-The New Avengers: Breakout
The authorities haven't heard anything from the prison island since the big earthquake. Would the PCs mind terribly taking a look? Convict level x 1000 gp bounty for any strays the PCs pick up.
-JLA: Terror Incognita
This spellbook has some spells written on that a wizard PC can use right outta the box as if they were scroll spells, problem is it's so fucking boring it requires a wisdom check/will save/whatever just to remember the spell long enough to cast it.
-Frank Frazetta: Rough Work
The shaman's goblin-blood warpaint doubles your strength up to a maximum of 19 and doubles your speed, but you can't wear any armor and must drink the blood of every foe you kill.
Ok, so you fall unconscious and a Negative Spirit that has your stats but in reverse appears. To whatever degree a stat is above the norm, it is now below, and vice versa. It is also the "opposite" class: meaning whatever you're worst at (and consequently whatever it is best at) is it's prime requisite and it's a member of the corresponding class. So if your wisdom sucks, it's a cleric. You may control this being as if it's your PC but it lasts for a set amount of time, like a day, and you can't do anything about it. This is a spell, or a thing in an item.
-This isn't a comic book, it's a Hobby Japan catalogue. But it has Ultraman monsters.
This spell allows you to create giant monsters. Material components are two animals. The animals get combined into one creature then grow to the size of an elephant.
-Hellboy: The Troll Witch And Others. There's someone talking about eating worms.
Adventure idea: mad, decadent king demands mad decadent feast be prepared: unicorn toes dipped in giant squid ink, spidergoat eyes in whalefat, all that. PCs are hired by chefs to hunt down ingredients.
-Sgt. Fury & His Howling Commandos.
Fuck these yokels. NEXT...
-Ironwolf: Fires of the Revolution. Ok, so the Omicronese (I think) shut off all the Secret Police's high-tech zappers using some...thing...
Anyway, point us there's an item, or a place, that shuts off all _____ in the campaign. Familiars? Magic rings? Undead? Something that shows up a lot in the campaign and seems maybe more useful and/or common than it oughtta be. Or that the villains have in spades (but the heroes have enough of them that there's some cost-benefit analysis, like, say, it renders magical writing illegible for 8 days or a month or something.)
-Another Hobby Japan catalogue. It's a remote-control car.
You thought that all you had to defeat the rampaging sea-serpent/golem/elemental was to slay the mad wizard controlling it but actually it's the other way around.
-Blue Beetle: Endgame
There's a giant beetle. It's blue. It's eyes are yellow domes. They are full of smaller beetles. You have to kill it without cracking open the eyes because, when exposed to oxygen the little beetles get big.
-Scud: The Disposable Assassin
Curse: PCs must seek out and slay a worthy foe every day or die of spiritual starvation. Each foe must be more fearful than the last.
-Wolverine: Civil War
The guy the PCs are looking for is at the bottom of the sea.
-JLA: A World Without Grown-Ups
Annoying kid-versions of the PCs show up.
-The New Avengers: Breakout
The authorities haven't heard anything from the prison island since the big earthquake. Would the PCs mind terribly taking a look? Convict level x 1000 gp bounty for any strays the PCs pick up.
-JLA: Terror Incognita
This spellbook has some spells written on that a wizard PC can use right outta the box as if they were scroll spells, problem is it's so fucking boring it requires a wisdom check/will save/whatever just to remember the spell long enough to cast it.
-Frank Frazetta: Rough Work
The shaman's goblin-blood warpaint doubles your strength up to a maximum of 19 and doubles your speed, but you can't wear any armor and must drink the blood of every foe you kill.
